At the San Dimas Mall, we see the empty Slurpee cups sitting on the table.  Joan of Arc finds herself in the audience for a Nautilus machine and fitness demonstration.  A woman on a stage is leading a group of women in aerobic exercises.  Joan of Arc is intrigued as she watches the woman leading the others.  Elsewhere in the mall, Beethoven has found a piano and organ store and is looking at a state-of-the-art electronic organ.  "You a musician?" the salesman asks, "Well, here . . . try this."  The salesman flips a switch which starts an electronic rhythm.  Beethoven studies the organ then laughs in amusement.  In the food court, Billy the Kid and Socrates are eyeing two girls sitting at a table.  "What is this?" one girl asks.  "Oh my God," the other giggles.  They wave at the two playfully, commenting on Socrates sandals and laughing.  Billy and Socrates take the opportunity to approach.  "Hi, I?m Billy.  This here is So-crates."  "Socrates," Socrates corrects.  "We?re from history," Billy explains, unrolling one of his wanted posters to show them.  The girls nod but look concerned.

Sigmund Freud then approaches carrying a corn dog.  "Hello, I?m Dr. Freud but you may call my Siggy."  "Oh my God," the one girl exclaims and they both start giggling.  "You both seem to be suffering from a mild form of hysteria," Freud notes, his corndog lowering suggestively.  "You are such a geek!" the one girl exclaims and they two get up and leave the table.  "Way to go, egghead," Billy complains, walking away.  "Geek!" Socrates laughs and follows Billy.  "What is a geek?" Freud asks.  Genghis Khan has entered Oshman?s Sporting Goods store and sets his club down to pick up an aluminum baseball bat.  He swings it around, getting a feel for it as a weapon.  He is startled by a mannequin behind him and turns around, swinging the bat and knocking the mannequin?s head off, which lands in a basketball net.  A startled security guard calls on his walkie talkie as Genghis Khan keeps beating the mannequin with the bat, saying, "I need some help.  I got a live one here."  Elsewhere, a flashbulb goes off in Lincoln?s face.  He is in one of those photo stores where people dress in old fashioned clothing and have their picture taken.  "Okay, um . . . I need the Lincoln hat and the stupid beard back," the kid taking the picture says.  "You don?t understand.  I?m Abraham Lincoln," Lincoln introduces himself.  "Yeah, right, ha ha ha," the kid says, then tries grabbing the hat off Lincoln, who fights back and then runs from the store.

There is now a montage of the different historical figures running amok in the mall.  Beethoven is fully involved playing the organ, now with two other organs pulled close so he can play two at the same time.  The aerobics instructor is suddenly knocked aside by Joan of Arc, who takes over the instruction.  Beethoven is drawing quite a crowd with his music but the salesman doesn?t look too happy.  Genghis Khan has donned a football helmet and shoulder pads and grabs a skateboard, riding it to escape from the security guards.  One guard tries to cut him off but Genghis rams the skateboard into the man?s knee then knocks him into a display of basketballs.  Genghis heads for the exit on the skateboard, using a trampoline to do a flying spin over the head of another guard, then landing on the skateboard again and riding into the mall.  At that moment Billy the Kid runs by, shouting "Yee haw!" as he fires his gun into the air.  Socrates follows close behind, shooting off a water pistol and crying, "Ah ha!"  Beethoven plays the numerous surrounding him as the crowd grows and the salesman grows more impatient.

Abraham Lincoln and Sigmund Freud are running through the mall and get onto an escalator to go to the floor above.  Only at the top of the escalator are a couple of security guards waiting.  They give themselves up, Freud saying, "I demand einen lawyer."  "Don?t get smart with me, buddy," one guard says, "Let?s go."  Beethoven continues to play the organs.  Joan of Arc is still leading the aerobics, but the girl she pushed off the stage and the announcer have alerted security guards, who climb on the stage and drag Joan away, protesting.  Beethoven continues to play.  Security guards on the second floor spot Billy, Genghis and Socrates running onto the ice skating rink below.  They lose their footing and slip.  Socrates is pushed by someone and slides across the ice, where security guards gather him up.  "All right, come on grandpa," one says.  Billy and Genghis manage to get to their feet to find themselves surrounding by guards closing in on all sides.  "Bogus!" they both say, then they slip and fall and the security guards dive on them in a heap.  Two security guards then also grab Beethoven, saying, "That?s enough."  Beethoven puts up his hands in surrender.

Missy-Mom drives the Preston family station wagon down the street with Bill, Ted and Napoleon seated inside.  Napoleon now has zinc oxide on his nose.  "Mom, can?t you go any faster?" Bill asks.  They pass the San Dimas Police Station, not realizing the historical figures they are speeding to pick up from the mall are actually inside the station.  Socrates is having a mug shot taken, looking startled by the flash.  An officer herds a handcuffed Joan of Arc to the back.  Genghis Khan is trying to tell his story to an officer at a desk.  At another desk, Sigmund Freud is looking around.  The man interviewing him asks, "I want to know why you claim to be Sigmund Freud."  "Why do you claim I?m not Sigmund Freud?" Freud asks him in return.  "Why do you keep asking me these questions?" the man asks with frustration.  Freud leans closer and says, "Tell me about your mother."  The man gives up and leaves his desk.  Freud asks if he?d like a couch to lie on and the man insists he doesn?t.  The man passes Beethoven, who is handcuffed and fighting against the officer handling him.  Inside a private office, we see Captain Logan booking Abraham Lincoln.  "All right, what?s your name?" Captain Logan asks.  "Abraham Lincoln," Lincoln replies, "That?s L-I-N-C-O-L-N."  "I know how to spell Lincoln!" Captain Logan assures him, then asks, "What?s your birthday, Mr. Lincoln?"  "February 12th, 1809," Lincoln responds.  Captain Logan gives him a strange look.

Back in the San Dimas High School Auditorium, one of the jocks named Ox is giving his report, struggling to think of what to say.  "Everything is different, but the same.  Things are more moderner than before.  Bigger . . . and yet smaller.  There?s computers."  Not knowing what else to say, Ox shouts, "San Dimas High School football rules!"  The audience bursts into cheers and applause.  The teachers look less impressed.  The clock now reads 2:00.  Meanwhile, the station wagon returns to the police station and parks out front.  "I can?t believe my dad arrested them all," Ted sighs, "What are we gonna do?"  "Okay, Ted, you go in and talk to your Dad," Bill suggests, "I?m gonna scope the place out.  Missy . . . I mean Mom . . . please keep an eye on Napoleon."  Bill and Ted get out of the car and Napoleon starts to follow but Bill orders him to "Stay!" as if he were a dog.  Ted enters the station just as Lincoln is being taken from Captain Logan?s office.  Logan tells the officer to lock Lincoln up with the rest of the wackos.  "I am a lawyer, you know," Lincoln points out as he?s being taken away.

"Dad!" Ted exclaims, running to him.  "You pack your bags, Ted," Captain Logan replies.  "What?" Ted asks.  "You?re going to military school," Captain Logan insists.  "But Dad!"  "No, I don?t wanna hear it, Ted!"  "But . . . !"  "Ted!  You go home and you pack your bags now!" Captain Logan orders, pushing Ted toward the door.  Seeing he?s getting nowhere, Ted leaves.  Ted meets Bill outside, who asks, "How?d it go?"  "Bad," Ted replies, "Our historical figures are all locked up and my dad won?t let ?em out."  "Can we get your dad?s keys?" Bill asks.  "We could steal them, but he lost them two days ago," Ted says.  "If only we could go back in time to when he had them and steal them then," Bill sighs.  Ted thinks about this, then asks, "Well, why can?t we?"  "?Cause we don?t got time," Bill points out.  "We could do it after the report," Ted suggests.  "Ted, good thinking, dude!" Bill smiles, "After the report, we?ll time travel back to two days ago, steal your dad?s keys and leave them here."  "Where?" Ted asks.  "I don?t know," Bill says, then says, "How ?bout behind that sign?  That way, when we get here now they?ll be waiting for us."  Bill reaches down behind the Los Angeles Sheriff Station sign and picks up a set of keys.  "See?"  "Whoa!  Yah!" Ted exclaims, "So after the report, we can?t forget to do this, otherwise it won?t happen.  But it did happen!  Hey, it was me who stole my dad?s keys!"  "Exactly, Ted!" Bill confirms, "Come on."

Inside the station wagon, Napoleon has moved to the front seat and is just about to put the moves on Missy, then stops when Bill and Ted approach.  "Mom?" Bill calls.  "Yes?" Missy asks.  "Can you please bring the car around back?" Bill asks.  "Sure," Missy agrees.  "Come on, Ted," Bill states, "We?ve got some historical figures to rescue."  Bill and Ted sneak into the police station and duck down behind a low wall.  They peek over where they can see Ted?s dad in his office with the door open.  They duck down again.  "How are we gonna get past my dad?" Ted asks.  "You got a tape recorder at home?" Bill asks.  "Yah," Ted confirms.  "Okay, remember to get the tape recorder."  "Yah."  "Set a timer on it for, uh . . . " T ed shows Bill his watch.  "2:13," Bill finishes, "Got it?"  "Got it," Ted agrees, then asks, "What am I gonna say on it?"  They hear Ted?s voice across the room calling, "Dad!  Hey, Dad!"  Bill and Ted smile at each other, Bill saying, "It?s you, dude!"  Captain Logan gets up from his desk and walks out of his office, looking around.  "Ted?" he calls.  "I?m over here!" Ted?s voice calls.  Captain Logan heads for the source of the voice, giving Bill and Ted the chance to sneak into the back.

They make their way into the offices and sneak behind a desk.  A typewriter with a piece of paper is in the machine and Ted notices there is a note typed on the paper with the Wyld Stallyns logo drawn on it.  "Dear Bill and Ted," Bill reads, "Good luck on the report.  Sincerely, Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted ?Theodore? Logan."  "Oh, that was nice of us," Ted smiles.  Bill then notices a post script and reads, "P.S. - DUCK!"  They duck behind the desk as a man leaves his desk across the way and walks by them.  Bill and Ted are able to get back to the jail cells and Bill uses the key to open the door.  The historical figures are excited to see them and Bill has to shush them.  Joan of Arc is praying but when she sees Bill and Ted she says, "Merci!" and crosses herself.  Bill opens the cell doors and tells everyone that time is of the essence and they should all work together to get down to the car.  Bill inadvertently also releases some other prisoners, such as a couple of prostitutes.  Bill has everyone line up toward the window.

In the outer office, Captain Logan is still trying to find Ted.  He follows the voice, which says, "Over here, Dad!  Down here!"  Captain Logan kneels down and finds the planted tape recorder.  "Way to go, dude.  You stalled him," Bill voice says on the recorder.  "What else do I say?" Ted asks.  Captain Logan puts the tape recorder down and hurries to the back as Ted announces on the recorder, "And now opening for Iron Maiden . . . "  "Wyld Stallyns!" both Bill and Ted shout.  By the time Captain Logan reaches the jail cells, everyone has been hoisted out the window except Billy the Kid.  "Ted!" Captain Logan shouts, "What in the hell do you think you?re doing?"  Ted closes his eyes and concentrates, saying, "Trash can!  Remember a trash can!"  "Trash can?  What are you talking about?" Captain Logan asks, when suddenly a trash can falls from above with "Wyld Stallyns" written across it and lands on his head.  "Ted!  Get this thing off me, Ted!" Captain Logan cries as he struggles inside the can.  "Sorry, Dad," Ted offers, "but we gotta go pass our history report.  Oh, by the way . . . I found your keys."  Ted sets the keys on the bars of a cell and returns to help Bill get Billy out the window as Captain Logan continues to struggle, crying, "Ted, where are you?  Get this thing off me!"

Continue to part seven . . .