In the garden, the two Princesses are walking when Bill and Ted peek around the corner to see them.  The Princesses are surprised and pleased to see them.  "How?s it goin?, ladies?" Bill and Ted ask.  "You?re the ones we saw in front of the castle," the dark-haired Princess named Joanna says.  "I am Ted of San Dimas," Ted presents himself, "and, uh . . . I bring to you a message of love."  The girls giggle.  "From who?" Joanna asks.  "From . . . from myself," Ted explains.  "And what is this message you speak of?" Joanna asks, stepping forward.  Ted is caught off guard.  "Lyrics, dude," Bill coaxes, "Recite ?em some lyrics."  Ted prepares himself and begins to recite.  "Oh, you beautiful babes from England, for whom we have traveled through time.  Will you go to the prom with us in San Dimas?  We will have a most triumphant time!"  The Princesses are pleased.  An older man?s voice suddenly rings out, calling, "Joanna?  Elizabeth!"  Joanna warns it?s their father and the girls hurry Bill & Ted inside the castle.

The Princesses lead Bill & Ted to through bed chambers.  "What does your father want?" Bill asks Elizabeth.  "We?re to be married to two horrible old men today," Elizabeth explains.  "No way!" Ted cries.  "Will you help us escape?" Joanna asks.  "Of course, babes!" Bill and Ted assure them, then they open the doors to reveal the King and the two horrible old men, as well as two guards.  "How?s it goin?, royal ugly dudes?" Bill asks.  Seeing their stoic faces, Bill tries to introduce himself by saying, "I am the Earl of Preston."  "And I am the Duke of Ted!" Ted adds.  The King is not impressed and steps between them, deciding what to do.  "Put them in the iron maiden," he orders.  "Iron Maiden?  Excellent!" Bill and Ted exclaims happily, sharing an air guitar.  "Execute them!" the King decides instead.  "Bogus!" Bill and Ted gasp.  As they are dragged from the room by the guards, Ted promises the Princesses they?ll save them, but the girls don?t look too confident.

In the courtyard, Bill and Ted are kneeling down in front of two execution blocks, where the executioners have just taken a practice swing with their axes.  The timid serf they spoke to in the woods is riding on a cart which is carrying their phone booth shouting, "Witches!  Anarchists!  I saw them!  They fell from the sky!  Anarchists!  They fell out of the sky!  They had fire in their eyes and they had horns!"  Horns sound from above and the King looks down from his balcony vantage point.  The Princesses and ugly suitors are with him.  The King stands, looking down at the pathetic-looking prisoners.  "Off with their heads!" he orders, much to the Princess?s dismay.  Two guards pull on ropes which are strung behind Bill and Ted?s necks and force their heads down onto the blocks.  "Bill," Ted says.  "What?" Bill asks.  "I believe our adventure through time has taken a most serious turn," Ted notes.  They cringe as the executioners bring down the axes.  Only they cut through the ropes hold Bill & Ted instead!  The executioners help Bill and Ted to their feet and reveal themselves as Billy the Kid and Socrates.

All four run to the wagon holding the phone booth and jump aboard as the King barks at his guards to take chase and the Princesses cheer them on.  Billy takes the reins and steers the horse-drawn cart through the castle grounds as the guards take chase on horseback.  There is chaos as the wagon startles peasants and livestock alike.  They topple food stands and send people scattering.  They drive the cart out of the castle grounds and the guards are slowed up a bit by some wooden scaffolding the wagon pulls down by accident.  Billy drives the cart into the woods and stops.  They quickly jump into the phone booth and Bill frantically dials as the guards approach.  "Dial fast, dude!" Ted urges.  Bill listens with frustration as a voice message over the receiver states, "I?m sorry, the number you have dialed is not in service at this time.  Please check your directory and dial again.  Party on, dude."  Bill starts to dial again as the guards quickly approach.  "Bill . . . !" Ted says worriedly.  "Okay, I got one!  Let?s go!" Bill calls.  They jump into the booth which starts to spark just as the guards reach them.  They scream as one guard swings a mace over his head and then swings it at them, catching the antenna on top of the booth as it drops into the Circuit of Time.

After traveling a ways in the Circuits, the booth drops down into the domed booth we saw at the beginning of the film.  The three important people are still hovering in the room and watch the booth descend.  Bill and Ted step out of the booth and look around in amazement.  Bill urges Billy and Socrates to stay in the booth.  "Where are we, dude?" Ted asks.  "I dunno," Bill admits, "But they sure do play excellent music!"  "Most outstanding," Ted agrees.  They venture forth and soon see the three people above them.  Billy and Socrates watch from the booth.  The Three Most Important People remove their sunglasses.  "It?s you!" the middle Important Person observes.  "Yah, it?s us!" Ted confirms, then he leans to Bill and asks, "Who are we?"  Bill shrugs.  The Three Most Important People perform slow and reverent air guitar.  Bill and Ted shrug and then return the gesture.  As they watch, numerous people start entering the dome and stand in front of them.  Together they all perform the same air guitar gesture.  Bill and Ted watch, not sure how to react.

The middle Most Important Person motions to Bill and Ted.  "Bill, I think they want us to say something," Ted notes.  "What should I say?" Bill asks.  "Make somethin? up," Ted suggests.  Bill thinks a moment, then strikes a pose and offers, "Be excellent to each other."  This pleases the people.  Ted shrugs, then strikes a pose and adds, "Party on, dudes!"  This makes everyone laugh with appreciation.  The Important People bow slightly to Bill and Ted, who bow back.  "Well, we gotta get back to our report," Bill says.  "Yah," Ted adds, "We?d take you with us but it?s a history report, not a future report."  Bill and Ted head back to the booth, Bill offering, "Later!"  "Later!" everyone replies.  "Let?s get back and do our report," Ted suggests.  "Good idea," Bill says.  They step into the booth and close the door.  The Three Most Important People don their sunglasses as the booth starts to spark, but the outside two remove theirs and look worried when they see the antenna on top of the booth is damaged.  The booth drops down into the Circuits.  "Dude, where?re we goin??" Ted asks.  "I dunno," Bill replies, "I think the booth?s broke.  We gotta keep going to San Dimas until we get back and get Napoleon."

In San Dimas, Deacon has taken Napoleon out on a double-date with identical twins to Zyggie?s Ice Cream Parlor.  Sirens are blaring as two waiters approach their table and one sets down a humongous dish of ice cream.  "Behold!" he says, "The Zyggie Pig.  The single greatest ice cream spectacle known to man."  He ties a bib around Napoleon?s neck.  "Eat the pig!  Eat the pig!  Zyggie zyggie zyggie zyg!" they taunt him.  Napoleon look confused.  "It?s ice cream," Deacon explains, "You eat it."  Napoleon tries a fingerful and asks, "La glace?"  "Whatever," Deacon sighs, "Just eat it."  After some time they have eaten the entire thing.  Napoleon pushes his spoon over his date?s to get the last drop, then belches loudly.  The waiters come out again and one proclaims, "All behold!  He ate the pig thus proving that he?s a . . . "  "Zyggie piggy, Zyggie piggy, Zyggie piggy!"  They pin a Zyggie Piggy badge to his chest next to his medals and make pig snorting sounds before taking the empty bowl away.  Napoleon then uses his finger to eat some of the melted ice cream from the table, much to the disgust of the kids.

Meanwhile, Bill, Ted, Billy the Kid and Socrates are still traveling through time.  They see something looming ahead that looks like a big loop in the tube.  "What?s that?" Ted asks.  "I don?t know," Bill replies.  They hit the loop and fly up and around it, turning upside down.  Everyone screams as they make the wild turn, then at the end they all cheer, realizing it had been fun.  We see an older European city and the caption "Vienna, Austria - 1901" is shown on the screen.  A man in a suit who is smoking a cigar steps out of a building in time to see the phone booth land in front of him.  "Where did we land now?" Ted asks.  Bill looks through the glass and sees the man.  "Dude, it?s Sigmund Frood," he points out.  Bill asks how much time they have left and Ted checks his watch and assures him they have tons.  "Why?"  "Extra credit, dude," Bill explains.  They step out of the booth.  "How?s it goin?, Frood dude?" Ted greets him.  Freud says something in Austrian which is translated as "This must be a dream."  Billy the Kid lassoes Sigmund Freud and pulls him, protesting in English, into the booth.  They climb inside and are off again.

Next we see an ornate drawing room in which a man is performing at the piano to a group of high society people.  The caption reads "Kassel, Germany - 1810."  As the man plays he doesn?t hear the phone booth land somewhere off screen.  Much to the surprise of the people sitting around, Bill, Ted and Billy the Kid come in and lift Beethoven from his stool and carry him to the booth as he complains in German.  The booth takes off again.  Next we see a lone soldier approaching an altar and the caption reads "Orleans, France - 1429."  The soldier kneels down, removing their sword to hold before them and setting their helmet on the ground.  Pulling off their hood, we see it is a young woman.  She starts to pray in French when there is a sudden flash of light and loud sound and the booth lands on the altar in front of her.  She is shocked when the door opens and Bill and Ted are standing inside.  Ted reaches out to her and she reaches up and takes his hand, stepping into the booth.  "Welcome aboard, Miss Joan of Arc," Ted offers, as they close the door, "My name is Ted and this is Bill."  The booth takes off again.

Next we see the inside of a large tent where a harem is attending to a Mongolian warlord.  The caption reads, "Outer Mongolia - 1209."  The warrior attacks some food a woman brings to him, then attacks the woman with the same enthusiasm.  The booth lands loudly by them, distracting their attention.  Ted?s hand appears in the frame holding out a Twinkie.  "Wanna Twinkie, Genghis Khan?" Ted asks, "Say please!"  Genghis Khan picks up his club and starts for the booth.  "Come on, guys!  Jump him!" Ted calls and off screen they wrestle Genghis Khan into the booth and take off again.  Finally we see the inside of an office and the caption, "The White House - 1863."  There is a knock at the door and a voice calls, "Candygram!"  Abraham Lincoln is sitting at his desk and gets up, putting on his stovepipe hat, and goes to answer the door.  "Yes?  What can . . . ?"  Genghis Khan grabs Lincoln and pulls him out the door and into the booth.  Bill closes the door behind them and around the door?s frame we can see the light of the booth as it takes off again.

Continue to part five . . .