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Posted By: Kitten <[email protected]>
Sunday, 3 August 2003, at 6:50 p.m.

Hey, I just really need to talk to somebody right now. There's just been a huge arguement, just like there usually is, I guess I should be used to it by now. Numb, I guess. I hate him. I know it's an extreme word and you should never hate your father but the way he treats my mum, and I, it's so bad it's beyond words. I don't care whether he had a screwed up childhood. It can't be undone, I can't keep on making allowances. When he talks about commiting suicide and not even caring and letting everyone else take responsibility, and I'm his DAUGHTER, I CAN'T deal with it. I can't deal with his filthy mouth, I can't deal with him punching holes in doors and I can't deal with him going to attempt to punch my teeth out.I can't deal with my mother not only being in terrible pain with her back, but sitting and crying over how he makes her feel.I have to listen to all of the things that come out of his mouth, listen to mum try and talk to him, only to be shot down in flames. And then he'll go out, or he'll go to the bedroom. And nothing is solved. Nothing is ever talked about because it can't be. This main arguement started when it was my nans 70th birthday and he wanted HIS family there and nobody else was allowed to come, not even mum's family. And now she's angry, and her last son has not spoken to her for a week because he feels unwanted because his kids weren't allowed to come. Her youngest son is the only immediate family she has left. The other two disowned her when we came on the scene.And she feels like she has nothing left. He's taken everything away from her, and now he's taken away her right to have her family in her own house. And I am in this because I feel so much for my mum, I love my mum, I adore her, and to see her hurt like this, it kills me. This is NOT a family. This is wrong.What am I going to do? Can somebody please talk to me? I'm so sorry..... lots of love, Kitten.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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