Nov. 24, 1986
Dec. 10, 1986
are excerpts and annotations outlining the differences between
the Sixth Draft scripts and all previous copies and the final film.
After the leader of the Most
Important People say "It is time," the scene now plays out this way:
Rufus thumbs through the phone
booth to look up the number. As Rufus lifts the receiver, we SEE a small,
two-pronged ANTENNA rise out of the booth and begin to GLOW with a bluish
light. Then, with each number Rufus dials, we SEE the BLUE LIGHT from the
antenna move down the side of the booth, accompanied by a corresponding CHORD OF
HEAVY METAL MUSIC. Finally we HEAR a DRUM BEAT, and as THE BLUE LIGHT
connects with the ground, the floor beneath the booth suddenly opens up with a
WHOOSH and, in a brilliant FLASH of BRIGHT WHITE LIGHT and RAUCOUS ROCK AND ROLL
. . . the booth disappears.
Instead of Bill giving Ted a
Melvin as in previous scripts, he gives him a "flat tire" by stepping
on the back of his shoe.
When Bill and Ted meet
themselves, Bill's line is slightly different from the movie:
Ted, you and I have witnessed
many things, but
nothing as superlative as what just happened.
Bill?s line about calling
someone to get the answers now in.
The scene where they stop and
see Napoleon is slightly different:
A BULLET whizzes just
over Bill?s head, grazing his scalp and parting his hair right down the
Ted gapes at Bill, then points
at his own head.
My turn, dudes!
Ted sticks his
head out and a bullet grazes him, parting his hair in exactly the same
place. The guys look at each other, thrilled.
The cat running away from the
phone booth is now included. When Napoleon lands on the branch the cat is
next to him and starts batting at him with its paw.
Rufus' explanation of time
travel is now this:
William. Through a retroactive cross-referencing
of the time-space continuum, we?ve been able to create,
in effect, a chronological circuit board which, when co-indexed by . . .
Rufus stops, noticing that
Bill and Ted are totally lost.
Trust me, gentlemen. It
Bill now recognizes Napoleon
when he falls out of the tree in this script.
The part with the old west
ugly dude is no longer included. Ted now offers the old west guys free
tickets to Raging Waters, home of excellent water slides.
They have the Look, it?s the
Goodyear Blimp bit in now, plus the hats down and Melvins.
As they rush toward the phone
BILLY THE KID
I didn?t know you could
that with those hats.
You haven?t seen as many
movies as us, Billy the Kid.
We see the second
hand of Ted's watch slow down and then actually stop.
about "Like sands through the hourglass . . . " is now included.
Arrival in England the
same, except Billy the Kid says "Triumphant" and Bill gives him his
line about Billy dealing with time travel so well.
John the Serf no longer
Seeing the Princesses
the same, except Bill says they need to get King Richard, when Ted asks why Bill
says it?s a history report, not a babe report.
Still two henchmen plunging
their swords into Ted?s suit.
Bill does not say "I love
you" to dead Ted.
Ted now hits the henchman with
a meaty bone, but bonehead line is not in yet.
They now meet the Princesses
in the garden as in the movie and they go to the girls? chamber.
The escape from
the castle is slightly different:
BILLY THE KID
Billy jumps onto the carriage
that holds the phone booth. Socrates jumps in next to him as Bill and Ted jump
in the back with the booth. Billy takes the reigns.
The carriage starts to gallop
through the confused crowd.
What about the babes?!
surrounded! We?ll have
to come back for ?em after the report.
A couple of Guards on a
balcony fire arrows at the cart. One of the arrows plants itself in the
wood next to Bill?s head.
BILL / TED
Whoaaaaa . . .
Billy drives the carriage
around a corner. Up ahead, Billy sees a farmer pulling a cart of
melons. Billy smiles and unholsters his gun.
BILLY THE KID
Hang on, dudes!
Socrates covers his
eyes. Bill and Ted crouch down behind Billy and Socrates. Billy
fires a couple of shots in the air as he calls to the horses to go faster.
The farmer pushing the cart sees the horses barreling toward him. He dives
out of the way as the carriage runs through the melon cart, sending the melons
A huge, towering seven foot
MOUNTAIN OF FLESH grabs a mace and gets into a chariot. Behind him, royal
guards mount horses. The Mountain of Flesh, followed by the guards on
horses, bursts through the doors and charges PAST CAMERA.
EXT. CASTLE STREET
Billy drives the carriage
through a flea market, knocking over tents and stands. The marketers run around
in general panic.
EXT. EARLIER CASTLE STREET
CLOSE UP of horses hooves
pounding into the ground. The farmer is putting the final melon back into
his cart as he sees the Mountain of Flesh?s horse thundering toward him.
Again he dives out of the way. The horse knocks over the melon cart.
EXT. CASTLE ROAD
Billy bombs through the last
flea market stand as he is heading to the outer castle gate.
EXT. CASTLE TOWER
A royal trumpeter sounds the
EXT. CASTLE BALCONY
The Princesses open their
doors and move to the railing. They watch as Bill and Ted near the gate.
EXT. CASTLE STREET - NEAR THE
Two guards are closing the
gate as another one is hoisting oil to the top of the gate with a rope.
Other guards rush in from the sides. Bill, Ted, Socrates and Billy the
Kid, rushing toward the gate, see what?s up ahead of them.
BILL / TED /
SOCRATES / BILLY THE KID
Billy raises his gun and fires
at the rope, causing the oil to come crashing to the ground. The oil
explodes into the ground, knocking the guards who were closing the gate into the
moat. Billy guides the carriage through the partially open gates.
EXT. ROAD LEADING TO CASTLE
Bill and Ted look back to the
castle gates, where people try to reorganize themselves. Ted notices the
princesses on the balcony again.
Bill! Look, the babes!
They start to wave.
EXT. CASTLE BALCONY
The Princesses, sadly, return
their wave. Joanna blows Ted a kiss.
EXT. EARLIER STREET
The Melon Vendor again puts
the final melon in his cart. Again he heard thundering hooves. This
time he just rolls his eyes and tips over his own cart as the Henchmen and
horses roar by.
EXT. CASTLE FLEA MARKET
The Mountain of Flesh rides
through the destroyed flea market, getting tangled up in the felled
booths. After a beat, the Henchmen?s horses ride into the market as
The rest of the escape scene
plays out the same as in the movie, except for Ted saying "C?mon,
dude! That guy?s gonna ? !!" and Bill saying "I know,
After Bill and Ted leave
England, there is another short scene opening to their scene in the future:
A 3-D MAP OF TIME on which a
BLINKING BLUE LIGHT suddenly shoots off the map. We HEAR a WARNING SIGNAL
(like guitar feedback), then PULL BACK TO REVEAL we are INSIDE THE GREAT DOME
(2687). The Three Important People react to the disappearance of the blue
Where did they go?
All of a sudden we HEAR MUSIC
and a HUGE CRASH. And the booth lands in front of the Three Most Important
The scene plays the same until
For the first time the Three
Important People notice the antenna. They motion for the guys to stop,
but, before they can, there is a FLASH of LIGHT and in a WHOOSH, the booth
disappears. Then, as the light subsides . . .
FROM OUT OF THE SHADOWS
THE CIRCUITS OF TIME
The booth hurtles PAST CAMERA,
the four faces pressed up against the glass.
Where we going?!
I dunno! I think the booth?s
We just gotta keep dialing till it works!
Dude! What?s that!?
The booth whizzes around a
sharp curve in the circuitry, where a SECOND BOOTH pulls alongside it (going in
the same direction but on a different track). Bill and Ted stare out the
glass booth. In it is ANOTHER BILL AND TED. The Other Ted is holding
a set of keys. The Other Bill gives Bill and Ted the "thumbs up"
sign as the booths dive away from each other.
They don?t pick up Julius
They pick up Freud much the
same as in the movie.
Beethoven is picked up second,
still in orchestra pit.
They pick up Joan of Arc at
A couple of the
historical figures falling from the Circuit of Time into Bill's back yard have
? Beethoven lands at the top
of the pool slide and slides into the water.
? Joan of Arc lands on the
diving board, does a perfect double-flip, and then lands on Beethoven?s
shoulders in the pool.
The final report
is back in the classroom again.
Scene of Bill and Ted starting
their report with the figures outside lined up the same as in last script,
except this time they come in and are announced:
William S. Smith,
Esquire. We are ready.
Ted begins to cross to the
podium as Bill proudly steps forward. Several people snicker. Ryan
rolls his eyes.
Mr. Ryan, teachers, fellow
distinguished classmates . . . it is
indeed a pleasure to introduce to you, to discuss with us what
they think of San Dimas, the San Dimas Mall, Raging Waters,
and many other elements of modern life . . .
. . . Mr. Genghis Khan.
Heads turn as Genghis Khan
enters the classroom, nods to the class, and then crosses to Ted. They
"high-five" each other as would two ball players.
Joan of Arc!
Joan of Arc enters, smiling
shyly, and crosses to Bill, Ted and Genghis Khan. People in the classroom
begin to quiet down as the four of them converge in the center of the class.
Freud enters and crosses to
the rest. He reluctantly "high-fives" Genghis Khan. People
are now totally silent.
Lincoln enters the room and
crosses to the front. In the rest of the classroom, jaws drop open.
Ludwig Van Beethoven!
Beethoven waves, enters.
Several classmates, stunned, wave back.
Napoleon winks at the now
completely awestruck audience. Several of the students look down at their
makeshift costumes as Napoleon enters the line of Historical figures.
And last, our buddy from the
Old West . . . Mr. Billy the Kid.
Billy enters the room, a
Pudding Cup in hand.
BILLY THE KID
How?s it goin??
He cracks open the Pudding Cup
and crosses toward Bill and Ted.
May we now present to you . .
. some of the
greatest people who have ever lived.
And on the awestruck classroom?s
complete and total stunned silence we:
Behind MUSIC, the following
should flow together and overlap fluidly:
Beethoven stands at the
chalkboard, writing notes from his 6th Symphony, dividing it into
parts for MOOG SYNTHESIZER, DRUM, ELECTRIC GUITAR, etc. Ted
steps up to the board beside Beethoven and fills in one of the half-notes with a
The Class sits forward,
watching carefully as Napoleon tanned
and wearing Ray-Bans and nose-kote, finishes an animated account of his exploits
at Raging Waters. Behind him, on the chalkboard under a heading marked
"EXCELLENT", is a crude drawing of Napoleon riding a water slide,
headfirst and backward.
And I saw when I get home I
the water slide all over Europe!
He notices Joan of Arc
standing behind him, frowning, eating a Twinkie. He addresses a comment to
her in French. She shakes her head, steps out of line and begins doing
AT THE SIDE OF THE ROOM
Abraham Lincoln paces back and forth, considering what to say. He stops in
front of Randolf, looks at his "Abe Lincoln" costume for a second,
then continues pacing.
SIGMUND FREUD steps away from
the chalkboard, looking at his drawing of a Hot Dog on a Stick going into a
large mouth. He strokes his beard and pantomimes eating a hot dog.
begin to pack into the classroom, open the door, as:
GENGHIS KHAN faces the class,
holding his old, gnarled club in his hands. Then he picks up an aluminum
bat. He holds them both up, then drops the wooden club and begins to twirl
the aluminum bat around as would Bruce Lee. Khan swings the bat just over
the top of Ox?s head and BUFFY AND JODIE look at each other.
SOCRATES is drawing a telephone
on the chalkboard in the "EXCELLENT" column just under Khan?s
drawing of an aluminum bat. (The "BOGUS" column now
includes such items as a police car and Khan?s old gnarled club.)
He looks at the phone, then turns
and joins Napoleon, Freud and Billy the Kid, who are engaged in an open
is handed a communal bag of Doritos, he takes one and passes it to BILLY THE KID
who is in the middle of a thought:
. . . I?m just sayin?
that for something that?s supposed
to be a snack treat, you?d think they?d make these edges
a little less sharp. I mean ?
(shows several cuts)
? these hurt.
The other Figures murmer
assent. Finally, as THE CLOCK hits 4:00 P.M. and MR.
RYAN scrawls a huge "A+" next to Bill and Ted?s names:
CAPTAIN WILLIAMS pushes into
the now-jam-packed room, squeezing past the crowd, then stopping in his tracks
when he sees Bill and Ted in total control of the rapt audience.
The Historical Figures are now
seated in a semi-circle in front of the class, and are flipping the Nerf
football back and forth as they speak. Behind them THE CHALKBOARD is now filled
with notes, drawings, phrases, arrows, crudely drawn maps, lines, graphs,
sketches . . . The "EXCELLENT / BOGUS" columns are filled with
drawings as well.
IN FRONT OF THE CLASSROOM as
Socrates finishes talking about "Dust in the Wind" (blowing some
Doritos crumbs out of his hand), Ted nods and rises.
And now, our last speaker - -
one of the greatest
presidents in American history . . . Mr. Abraham Lincoln.
LINCOLN, caught unprepared,
quickly finishes scribbling notes on whatever he could find (in this case a
Fruit Pie wrapper) and steps out of line and moves toward the podium where,
with a supportive nod from Bill and Ted, he turns toward the audience.
(reading from his Fruit Pie wrapper)
Four score and seven minutes
ago, I began
an adventure with my new friends Bill and Ted.
Lincoln looks to Bill and Ted,
who grin proudly.
There two great gentlemen
have reconfirmed to
me that the axiom which was true in my era is still true today . . .
Lincoln then looks down at his
scribbled nots, then back up at the classroom.
Be excellent to each other,
and . . . Party on, dudes.
The rest of the script is the
same as in previous scripts.
on to the On the Set Section . . .