One Sweet & Sour Chinese Adventure - To Go

First aired: 9/15/90

Written by: John Ludin & John Loy

Regular characters: Bill, Ted, Rufus, Missy-Mom, Mr. Preston

Historical figures: Kublai Khan, Marco Polo (whom B&T call Mr. O'Polo)

Time periods:

  • Peking, China -1295 A.D. Saturday Afternoon

  • Middle of the China Sea - 1295 A.D. - Monday Morning

  • Venice, Italy - 1295 A.D. - Tuesday Afternoon

Notable events:

  • Bill & Ted build Great Wall (in a couple of days, but it falls down)

  • Helped invent Chinese take-out

  • Helped Marco Polo introduce spaghetti to Italy


  • Chinese prisoner outfits

Bill & Ted definitions:

  • Fortune cookies - "Delectable taste treats complete with words of wisdom"


Bill & Ted are rehearsing in Bill's garage when their loud music knocks Missy's "brand-new antique" Chinese vase off its shelf.  Desperate to replace the broken vase before Missy gets home, the dudes travel back to Ancient China in search of an authentic substitute.  Once in China they are arrested for causing a mess in a vase store (called 1000 Vases of Dr. Lao - a joke relating to the cult movie classic The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao) and are sentenced to building the Great Wall of China (a couple of days work - which falls down as soon as they are released).  Unaware that their phone booth, which was parked in a tow away zone, has been taken to Kublai Khan's palace, the dudes stop at Oodles of Noodles for some lunch.  Rufus slips them a note via fortune cookie to let them know about their booth, and they have to explain the concept of Chinese take-out to the waitress named Kitten Kaboodles, who offers them a free vase which is exactly like Missy's.  On their way to the palace they are shanghaied and taken aboard Marco Polo's ship, which is for the best because Kublai Khan had given Marco Polo the phone booth (claiming it would take four photos for a dollar except it was broken) as a going away gift.  Bill & Ted find themselves put to work swabbing the deck and later painting the ship.  Not appreciating the wild paint job the dudes do on his ship, he makes them walk the plank (and a shark ends up eating their vase), but through a wild series of mishaps they all end up taking the booth back to Italy when the ship sinks.  In Italy, Marco Polo reports back to his boss, who is angry when he finds out Marco Polo forgot the rice.  Bill and Ted offer the man their take out noodles instead, which he likes so much he decides to rename them (his dog Spaghetti eventually providing the inspiration).  Marco Polo sees Bill and Ted off, both of whom are disappointed they didn't get a vase, until Marco offers them one of the free vases he got from the same Chinese restaurant.  Upon returning home, the dudes accidentally break the new vase and have to confess to Missy they broke her vase.  Missy then confesses her vase was a freebie given out by the new Chinese restaurant in town, Oodles of Noodles.

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