A Quick Way to Get Famous . . . NOT!

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BILL & TED characters are trademarks of Nelson 1991 Inc. The motion picture BILL & TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE & © 1989 Nelson Films Inc. All Rights Reserved. The motion picture BILL & TED'S BOGUS JOURNEY © 1991 Orion Pictures Corporation. All Rights Reserved.

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Ted woke up, it was very quiet, compared to last night.  The sounds of laughing, talking, and love songs had all gone away.

He stood up looking in the mirror, he still had cake in his hair from the reception the night before.

Two reasons why it was quieter, One, His dad was on his honeymoon with Missy, Two, Deacon had got sick the day before and Bill had to fill in his spot while he stayed home asleep.

He decided to take a shower and get the cake out of his hair before calling Bill who was probably also covered in cake.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Good Morning, Bill." Bill?s dad said walking in with a sad look on his face.

"What?" Bill said half asleep.

"It?s time to get up it?s ten, and you told me to wake you up at ten if you were still asleep." His dad said as Bill started to get up.

"Oh, right, thanks." Bill said as he stood up.

After getting dressed he immediately had the thought ?I need to call Ted.?  So he picked up the phone and called Ted.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Ted?s phone rang, "Hello?" He said into the phone.

"Hey dude, it?s me!" Bill said.

"Hey Bill! What?s up my excellent friend?" Ted said.

"Nothing much my excellent friend." Bill said and then paused, "Is Deacon still sick?" He asked curiously.

Ted paused for a second, "I don?t know.  I?d have to check.  Why?"

"Well go check, because if we?re gonna do our first video with the babes, then we need his opinion." Bill answered.

"Okay dude, I?ll go check." Ted said as he sat the phone down and walked to Deacon?s room.

He knocked on the door and opened it. "Hey Deacon.  Wake up, Are you still sick?" Ted asked.

"What?" Deacon asked.

"Are you still sick?" Ted asked again.

"What do ya mean?  I wasn?t sick." Deacon said half asleep.

"Deacon? Did you fake being sick to get out of the wedding?" Ted asked Deacon as he rolled over.

"Mmhmm," He said still half asleep.

"Deacon!" Ted said shaking his shoulder.

"What?" He said not realizing what he just spilled.

"You faked being sick to get out of the wedding!" Ted exclaimed mad at his brother.

"How?d you know?" Deacon said.

"You just told me." Ted paused.  "Where did you go when we were at the wedding?" Ted asked Deacon.

"We went to the skate park, it?s no big deal, no one called me to check on me or anything, we just went to the skate park and came back here." Deacon explained.

"Deacon, You realize how much trouble you?re gonna get into for this," Ted said.

"No, no, no, I am not gonna get in trouble." Deacon said.

"How do you know?" Ted asked.

"Because you are not gonna say anything," Deacon said.

"How?d you fake the vomit?" Ted asked.

"Coke, Cheerios, and mashed potatoes," Deacon said proudly.

"No wonder he thought it was real." Ted paused, "Oh yeah, me and Bill need your opinion on the next video we make." Ted continued as he left.

"Oh, Brother." Deacon said.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Hey dude, sorry it took so long." Ted said as he got back on the phone.

"It?s okay, is he gonna do it?" Bill asked.

"Well, he said ?Oh brother? so I guess that?s a yes." Ted answered.

"Excellent!" Bill said then air guitared and dropped his phone.

"Hello?" Ted said after hearing a huge thud on the ground.

"Yeah, I dropped my phone." Bill said.

"Deacon faked being sick yesterday and he went to the skate park though." Ted explained.

"No way!" Bill said.

Ted paused as he heard his dad?s car pull up in the driveway.  "My dad and Missy just got home, I?ll call you back later." Ted said.

"Okay, see you later." Bill said and then hung up.

"Dad!  Dad!  Dad!  You?ll never believe what happened!"

Ted?s dad sighed, "What now, Ted?"

"You won?t believe Deacon.  He faked being sick so he didn?t have to go to the wedding.  And then he went to the skate park." Ted explained.

"Deacon." Ted?s dad called down the hallway.

"Yeah," He said walking to him.

"What exactly did you do yesterday?" Ted?s dad asked Deacon walking in circles around him.

"I stayed home and I was asleep, It?s not like I went to the skate park or anything," Deacon said quietly.

"Hmm, I see," He paused looking at Missy, "Go back to your room." He told Deacon.  Deacon left.  "What did you do, Ted?" He asked.

"What?" Ted asked.

"You?re trying to cover what you did up by getting Deacon in trouble," Ted?s dad assumed.

"No!  I?m not!  Deacon really did!" He tried to explain.

"Well, Do you have proof?  Were you really there when Deacon was at the ?skate park??  How do you know he was really there?" He asked Ted and paused, "Just go to your room." He told him.

Ted walked down the hall hearing his dad ask "Should I call Deacon?s friends and see if they know?" Ted paused to hear Missy?s answer.

"Yeah, you should.  You know you really need to start listening to him.  What if he was telling the truth?"

"Well, I don?t think he was." Ted?s dad said.

"Chet, If he was, you?re going to call him back in here and apologize for not believing him," Missy said.

Ted?s dad sighed and picked up the phone to call Deacon?s friends.

Ted walked in his room and sat on the floor.

A few minutes later, "Ted," His dad called from the other room.

Ted walked to there where his dad was.

"Sorry, You were right.  Deacon did go to the skate park and faked being sick." Ted?s dad said.

"It?s okay," Ted paused, "Is Deacon able to watch me and Bill?s new music video we?re about to make?" Ted asked.

In a look of disgust he said "No, He?s probably not gonna go anywhere for a while."

"Okay," Ted said and left to his room to call Bill.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Preston residence, this is Bill," Bill said.

"Hey Bill," Ted said.

"Oh, Hey, What time should I get you and Deacon?" He asked.

"Um," He thought and paused, "You can come get me, as soon as you can," He answered.

"And Deacon?" He asked.

"No, my dad knows about what Deacon did and he can?t come." Ted explained.

"Bogus!" Bill paused.  "Who are we gonna get?" Bill asked.

"Well, there?s a video contest at school we can enter?" Ted noted.

Bill gasped, "Good thinking, dude!  All we have to do is make our video, send it in to school, and everyone will see it." Bill said.

"Yeah!  We?ll do that!" Ted said.

"Okay, well, I?m gonna get you and then we?ll get the babes." Bill said.

"Okay, catch ya later." Ted said.

"Catch ya later." Bill said and hung up the phone.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Ted waited with his guitar for Bill to come in his dad?s old green car.

When he arrived Ted got in the passenger seat of the car and they drove to get Joanna and Elizabeth.

"Dude, I can?t believe I had to fill in for Deacon at your dad?s wedding," Bill said.

"And he went to the skate park while you did what he was supposed to do." Ted said disappointed in his brother.

"Yeah, I didn?t even think your dad liked me." Bill said.

"Well, I was supposed to pick either you or Col. Oates, so I had to pick you." Ted explained.

"I?m gonna go get the babes." Bill said as he stopped the car in front of their apartment.

"Hey, Elizabeth." Ted said as he got out of the car and greeted her with a hug.

"Hello, Theodore." Elizabeth said hugging him back.

"Dude," Bill said and they both looked at them.

"We gotta go." Bill explained as Joanna took the passenger seat to sit next to Bill.

"Oh, Yeah." Ted said as he and Elizabeth got in the back seat of the car.

Ted and Elizabeth could not understand everything Joanna and Bill were saying while they mumbled in their conversation on the way to Bill?s house.

"What?" Ted said quietly.

Elizabeth shook her head, "I have no idea." She said.

As they got to Bill?s house Ted asked Bill "Dude, Why are you guys mumbling, you got a secret?"

"Shut up, Ted," Bill said.

"I guess that?s a yes?" Elizabeth mumbled as Ted walked up next to her.

Ted tried to keep from laughing, As well as Elizabeth.

"What??!!" Bill asked.

"Nothing," Elizabeth said.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

They got all their instruments set up and Bill set up the camera.

"I?m Bill S. Preston Esq.!  And This is Ted ?Theodore? Logan!" Bill said.

"On Drums and keyboards celebrating six months in the twentieth century!  Joanna and Elizabeth!" Ted said.

"And we are Wyld Stallyns!" They both said as they played mixed up drum beats piano chords, and guitar chords.

Then Ted started to play Jump by Van Halen, Bill started to play Jesse?s Girl by Rick Springfield, Joanna started to play Walk This Way by Aerosmith, and Elizabeth started to play Love Stinks by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.

"Whoa!  Whoa!  Whoa!" Bill said as they all started playing different songs.

"We have to decide on one song." Bill continued.

"How about?." Ted thought for a minute.  "You start playing something and we?ll start playing it with you.

"Okay." Bill said and a few seconds later started playing the Star Spangled Banner as they all started playing horribly.

When they finished, Bill turned off the camera.

"That was non-heinous." Bill said.

"Yeah, sure." Joanna said.

"Well, we should enter it in the school?s contest on Monday.  They announce the winner Tuesday and we could for sure win." Ted said.

"Yeah." Bill said.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Tuesday Afternoon: Video Contest

"The second place winner of this year?s video contest was an unnamed video by Bill S. Preston Esq. and Ted ?Theodore? Logan." Mr. Ryan announced.

"Excellent!" Bill and Ted said as they air guitared.

They started showing the video.

"I?m Bill S. Preston Esq.!  And This is Ted ?Theodore? Logan!"

"On Drums and keyboards celebrating six months in the twentieth century!  Joanna and Elizabeth!"

"And we are Wyld Stallyns!"

There was a loud noise of laughter as everyone watched them not know what song they were gonna do.

Bill and Ted had an extremely shocked look on their faces.

"It?s okay, Theodore, There?s always next year," She said looking at his sad face.

"But this is our last year of high school, and next year my dad?s gonna try to push me to go to military school, or college, or to get a job." Ted explained.

"Well you might need to get a job," Elizabeth noted.

"Still, this is non-non-heinous," Ted said looking around at the laughing faces laughing at their video.

"Ted, We?re supposed to be bigger than the Beatles, and Elvis, and Van Halen.  We don?t need to win this contest to be big, We?ll have to start doing battle of the bands contests instead," Bill explained.

Ted looked at Bill, "You?re right.  We don?t need to win a video contest to be rock stars." Ted explained.

"The winner, of this year?s video contest is?. Jody Davis in ?Squirrel Skateboard?" Mr. Ryan announced.

A loud cheer came as they played the video.

"Ox!  Don?t run over the squirrel!"


"Don?t run over the?"

Everyone cheered.

"I can?t believe we lost to something so stupid!" Bill said.

"It doesn?t matter." Ted said.

"Yeah, They?ll wish they voted for us in five years." Joanna said.

They all laughed and continued looking for battle of the bands contests.


  The End  (