are excerpts and annotations outlining the differences between
the Fifth Draft script and all previous copies and the final film.
Date changed to 2687 A.D.
Movie still starts with exterior shot of domes. Rufus walks into the largest dome.
He stops in the middle of the room and nods respectfully toward the other end of the room where, for the first time, we SEE three FIGURES, seated in mid-air, as if suspended invisibly. All have long hair and beards (sort of like the members of ZZ Top), wear white, sport dark sunglasses, and slowly tap their feet in rhythm to the echoing, metallic music. These are the three most important people in the world.
Leader says "It is time" line and a black obelisk drops through the iris open ceiling. It is changed to the phone booth.
Rest of scene the same.
We see portraits at this point:
TWO TOWERING PORTRAITS
Which hang above the doors on the far side of the dome, dominating the room. They are of two MIDDLE AGED MEN with long hair and black t-shirts.
We HEAR the VOICES of our two sixteen-year-old heroes, BILL and TED.
Go for it, dude . . .
BILL AND TED (V.O.)
One two three four ?
And they plunge into a riff of upbeat "AIR GUITAR" ? the high-pitched falsetto squeal of voices imitating hard rock guitar licks (sounding something like "nyow - nyow - nyow - nyow").
After a few beats, the SOUNDTRACK MUSIC kicks in along with them, and we:
FADE UP ON:
EXT. SCHOOL BUS STOP - DAY
BILL and TED jump INTO FRAME, land on the bus stop bench, and do a series of spasmodic AIR GUITAR riffs. Then, as they leap off the bench TOWARD CAMERA, we begin:
A QUICK SERIES OF SHOTS In which Bill and Ted do a brief, MTV-type AIR GUITAR mini-concert:
They spin around on their backs; play their air-gutars with their teeth, feet, and ears; trade "solos"; and finally, in a resounding conclusion, violently smash their air-instruments against the ground, garnering strange looks from the few people around them. The guys look at each other, quite pleased, as the SCHOOL BUS pulls up in front of them.
Scene on the bus is the same as in previous scripts. They are still discussing t-shirts. They are still named Williams and Smith.
EXT. SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL PARKING LOT - MORNING
Typical before-school activity. Students chat and walk to class as the school bus rolls into the lot and stops. T he doors open and students get off. Among them are Bill and Ted, who bound out and start toward school. Elsewhere in the parking lot is the "POPULAR GROUP" ? a half a dozen nice-looking students who sit on and around a Trans-Am. Bill and Ted approach on their way to class. Ted eyes two cute preppy girls.
How?s it goin?, Buffy and Jodie?
No response. The guys pass Randolf, the group?s "leader", who eyes them with disdain.
How?s it goin?, Randolf?
How?s it goin?, miscreants?
Excellent. Thank you.
Bill and Ted leave the group and continue toward school.
Bill, we?re miscreants.
BILL AND TED
EXT. LOCKER AREA
Ted?s locker is a total mess. There are no books; only junk food wrappers and Heavy Metal stickers. Ted stuffs his rucksack in with all the other junk. A couple of lockers away, Bill uses the mirror which is attached to his locker door to study the progress of his scrawny little peach-fuzz moustache.
Ted. I totally have a most excellent moustache.
Scene with them asking the girls to the prom is the same.
Bill and Ted realizing they have a history review is same, except:
The BELL RINGS. The guys look around. They are the only ones left in the hallway. As the guys amble away, Ted looks at his watch.
How can school be startin? already?
It?s only five a.m.
Bill looks at Ted?s watch.
Ted. You forgot to wind your watch.
The classroom scene plays the same. Ted is drawing the "Wyld Stallyns" logo on his desktop when he laughs at Bill.
Library scene the same. Missy picks them up in the station wagon.
Description of Ted?s house: A small, lower-middle class home in a not-so-great neighborhood.
Missy?s station wagon stops behind a POLICE CAR which is parked in front of the house.
Bogus. My dad?s home.
Be right back, as soon as I get my books.
Ted?s dad is named Captain Chet Williams.
Scenes inside and outside Ted?s house the same.
Military school is in Alaska now.
EXT. BILL?S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
A large, suburban home in a neighborhood quite a bit nicer than Ted?s.
MR. SMITH (V.O.)
How was school today, boys?
INT. BILL?S KITCHEN - SAME
Bill and Ted stand with their books, watching Missy unload the groceries. MR. SMITH, forty-five, holding a pipe and newspaper, stands behind his new wife, quite enamored with her.
Mr. Smith pats Missy on the ass. Bill gulps.
Um . . . we have to go study, dad.
As the guys head out of the kitchen:
Bill, have you done your chores this week?
(eyes on Missy)
Well . . . make sure you do.
Bill and Ted head upstairs.
Your dad doesn?t even care if you do your chores, dude!
Shut up, Ted.
He?s too busy goin? for it with your step-mom!
Whoa! Second base!
(also looking back)
Fooled you, dude!
Bill gives Ted a "Melvin", and as they continue up, OUT OF FRAME, we:
Scene in Bill?s room the same as in previous scripts. Rest of scene the same.
The store is still a 7/11. They still ask the woman to buy them a beer. Ted is eating a microwave burrito, Bill is eating a pint of mint chip ice cream.
Rufus arrives. The phone booth has now replaced the time van. Scene?s the same as in the movie, except they still ask him if he?ll buy them a beer.
Ted?s line "Strange things are afoot at the 7/11" in now.
Scene with the guys meeting themselves the same as in movie.
The light around the booth is described as being blue.
Modern technology line now in.
They land in France.
Bill, check it out! We?re right in the middle of a war!
(waving at the armies below)
Up here, dudes!
A BULLET whizzes past Bill?s ear. Ted laughs, pointing at Bill?s head.
Just missed, dude!
Rest of scene plays the same except Napoleon does not tell soldiers to blow them up.
Scene outside Ted?s house the same except:
Okay then, amigos . . .
(re: phone book)
This?ll tell you the number of whatever place you want to go.
Rufus points to the numbers on the phone.
Just dial the area and the time.
(re: a "special" button)
And this is what activates the time travel function.
Quite simple, William. Through a retroactive
cross-referencing of the intralateral continuum . . .
Rufus stops, noticing that Bill and Ted are totally lost.
Trust me, gentlemen. It works.
Goes into the bit about the clock in San Dimas always running.
Later at Ted's house, Napoleon falls from the tree and lands on his feet right in front of them. He looks around, mutters something in French, then topples to the ground, unconscious. Bill and Ted are astounded.
Dude . . . we saw that guy in France.
(shaking his head)
And just when we thought things couldn?t get any more bodacious . . .
Bill looks up Napoleon in his history book. The rest is the same, Ted still says "You?re famous, dude!"
Scene with Deacon is the same as in movie.
Scene with Ted?s dad the same, except Bill calls himself Officer Van Halen.
Scene of them leaving the same except after Bill gets a connection:
Bill, my friend?
Yes, Ted my friend?
May we have a most excellent adventure!
They land in the old west town next to outhouses, but no guy in outhouse and no horse crap line. They go into saloon and order the beers. They still try to recruit the Old-West ugly dude, but instead of guy threatening them or making them dance Billy comes in with a gunshot, like in movie. Billy recruits them for card game instead of bank robbery. Lines of them introducing themselves as Bill Wyld and Stallyn Ted same as in previous scripts.
Cheating scene the same except after Bill says "Whoa, three aces!":
Billy the Kid glares at Bill.
Ted turns to the large TATTOED COWBOY next to him.
We?re totally cheating you, dude.
(off the Cowboy?s look)
But it?s okay ? you?ll get your money
back as soon as we bag Billy the Kid.
The fight scene is the same except rustlers go after Bill and Ted.
Okay, look. I gotta be honest with you guys:
I?m totally weak. I can?t possibly fight you.
A beat. Then Ted pulls a small paper booklet from his pocket and opens it.
However, how would you gentlemen like free passes to
see "The Song Remains the Same" at the San Dimas 6?
But before Ted can tear the tickets out, the rustlers grab him.
I didn?t think so.
Meanwhile Bill Is behind the bar, jumping back and forth to avoid the whiskey bottles that are now being chucked at him. A bottle whizzes past his ear and crashes against the mirror, shattering it. Bill gives the thumbs-up sign.
Nice shot, dude!
Another barrage of bottles drives Bill to the floor where he crawls behind the bar. He sees a shard of the broken mirror, picks it up, and checks the progress of his moustache.
(pleased, winking at himself)
Excellent ?stache, Smith.
Then Bill reacts as he sees in the mirror the reflection of a BIG BEARDED COWBOY grinning evilly back at him. The Bearded Cowboy reaches down with one hand, picks Bill up, and holds him over his head.
The three Rustlers are tossing Ted around like a beach ball.
How?s it goin?, Ted?
They get thrown through the wall (not slid down the bar). When they see each other through the wall . . .
BILL / TED
You totally got thrown through the wall, dude!
Ted looks around and notices the provocatively dressed girls in front of him. He turns on the charm:
How?s it goin?, ladies? I am Ted T. Williams,
and this is my friend, Bill S. --
The guys are pulled back out by Billy the Kid.
Billy the Kid is surrounded by the card playing cowboys and they pull their guns on him. Bill and Ted Melvin then pantsing the cowboys to rescue Billy.
When they run to the phone booth they push past a line of guys waiting to use the outhouse.
Excuse us, dudes, we gotta use the phone.
They reach the booth, squeezing past a Cowboy who exits the booth, zipping up his fly. Bill and Ted look down.
BILL / TED
Oh no . . .
The rest with them leaving for Greece the same, except for:
Believe me, dude, Napoleon has it tougher.
He?s back in San Dimas with Ted?s little brother Deacon.
Ted looks at his watch. It reads 7:15 P.M.
There is a FLASH and we:
Farrell?s Restaurant scene the same, except comes at this point of the movie instead of later and no dialogue. At end of scene:
We notice that the clock on the wall behind him now reads 7:57 P.M., as we:
EXT. ANCIENT GREECE - DAY
Ancient pillars. Greek statues. A phone booth. Bill and Ted amble along a tree-lined path.
How we doin? with the time?
(looking at his watch)
CLOSE ON WATCH
Which now reads only 7:45 P.M. We notice that the second hand is beginning to slow down as the guys steal up to:
A SMALL AMPITHEATRE UP AHEAD
Talk about Socrates the same, then:
The guys start off, then stop, noticing Billy the Kid, who obviously wants to go with them.
Ted rummages through his rucksack and removes a Nerf football, which he tosses to the confused young cowboy.
Here, Billy the Kid. This is a Nerf football. You can play
with it while we talk to So-crates and nothing will get hurt.
Scene with Socrates the same, except they don?t introduce themselves. Bill says "How?s it goin??" and then says, "Ted. He?s waitin? for you to say something." Then into Dust in the Wind bit. Bill does not back this up and Socrates does not come up with "Like sands through the hourglass" line.
Bowling alley scene comes here instead of ice cream parlor scene.
Bowling alley scene the same as in the movie, except we see the kids running away and Kerry points out Deacon?s brother?ll kill him and Deacon says "I don?t care. Napoleon?s a dick."
Arrival in England the same, except Billy the Kid points out John the Serf as a possible candidate, then Ted comments on how well he?s adapted to time travel. After Bill asks if John?s seen anyone of historical significance around John the Serf smiles a toothless smile and Bill says "Later."
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BILL & TED characters are trademarks of Nelson 1991 Inc. The motion picture BILL & TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE ? 1989 Nelson Films Inc. All Rights Reserved. The motion picture BILL & TED'S BOGUS JOURNEY ? 1991 Orion Pictures Corporation. All Rights Reserved.