with a nod to Samara-Morgan-101 who acted as editor and came up with many of the original characters
BILL & TED characters are trademarks of Nelson 1991 Inc. The motion picture BILL & TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE & © 1989 Nelson Films Inc. All Rights Reserved. The motion picture BILL & TED'S BOGUS JOURNEY © 1991 Orion Pictures Corporation. All Rights Reserved.
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Authors Note: Jane Subroski is a fictional rock band and they belong to us as do the characters of Kevin, Shannon, Ashley and Maria and any other people you do not recognise. There are also a few movie / TV quotes thrown in throughout this tale, see if you can pick them out.
CHAPTER 1“Well this is a great way to spend you Sunday afternoon,” remarked Ted as Bill and Kevin glared back at him.
The three of them were sitting in Kevin’s living room listening to the radio.
“Do you want to see Jane Subroski or not?” Kevin asked.
“Why can’t we buy tickets like normal people?” Ted groaned.
“Because I have no money, no job and a girlfriend who wants to do something more interesting than hanging out at the Circle K.” Kevin replied.
“What’s wrong with the Circle K?” Bill asked.
“Ashley mightn’t actually tell you but I know the girls are beginning to think we’re losers.” Kevin said.
“What?” Ted asked. “Maria wouldn’t say that.”
Kevin rolled his eyes. “Your beloved Maria worships the ground you walk on as you do for her but for the rest of us mere mortals, girls want cars, money and fun. And gentlemen, we have none of those.”
“One of us has to pass drivers ed. If one of us can drive then they’ll give us a car.” Bill said.
Ted snorted. “I would not trust you driving Bill. I’ve watched you playing Grand Theft Auto on the Playstation; you’ll drive us off a cliff for sure.”
“This is it!” Kevin announced and pointed at the radio.
“We’ve got a competition for you all. Jane Subriski live in concert and we have three passes to go and see them. Just be caller number six.”
Kevin already had his phone in hand and dialed quickly. Bill had nabbed his cell phone and was calling too.
“I’m getting through!” Bill cried.
It was strange hearing Bill’s voice on the radio and him sitting in the same room. “Congratulations! You’ve won the tickets. Tell the listeners your name!” cried the DJ.
“Kevin,” Bill answered. Neither Ted nor Kevin questioned this. They’d agreed that if either of them won it would be under Kevin’s name, Bill was too well known.
“Alright Kevin. Hang on the line and we’ll get your details.”
Bill was grinning and made a fist in triumph as he told Kevin's details to the person on the other end of the line.
“You have to claim the tickets by Tuesday or they’ll run the competition again.” said Bill.
Kevin nodded. “I’ll get them on Monday. In the meantime, I suggest we tell our wonderful ladies that they’re going to see Jane Subroski.”
“Hang on,” said Ted. “It said the prize was three tickets, in case you haven’t noticed there are six of us.”
Kevin nodded. “Yes Teddy. I am aware that there are six of us. Those tickets are front row seats, I organized with the ticket organisers that I can swap my three front row seats for six middle row seats.”
“What would have you done if you hadn’t won?” Ted asked.
“I knew we had a good chance of getting them.” said Kevin, suddenly looking guilty.
“Why?” asked Ted suspiciously.
“Because there are two concerts playing. One on next Friday and one on Wednesday. These tickets were for the ones on Wednesday and that day is the midterm exams.”
“What!” Ted exclaimed. “You can’t expect me to skip school on midterm exams, Kevin we’ll be caught for sure!”
Kevin shrugged. “Why do we need school? We’re going to be famous when we’re older! Rufus said so.”
Ted groaned. “Maria won’t go along with this, she hates breaking the rules.”
“Yeah but if we pressure her enough she’ll come.” Bill said.
“Now for phase 2 of the plan,” Kevin rubbed his hands together. “We have to get a car.”
“Our parents won’t shout us a car until we can drive and I don’t think we can learn over the course of a week.” Bill said.
“Can you just ask them for some money and we’ll buy a car ourselves.” Kevin said.
“They’ll know and they won’t be happy if we buy a car that we can’t drive.” Ted explained.
Kevin chewed his lip and then smiled. “I got it! And all we need is your parent’s signatures!”
“They’re not going to sign a check for you,” Ted remarked.
Kevin shook his head. “All we need to do is get them to sign something and then we can sell it on eBay, we’ll get at least a hundred dollars for it!”
“Albums,” Bill clicked his fingers. “It’s very rare our parents do an album signing unless it’s for charity, if we get them to sign one of their albums we’ll make enough to get a bodacious car.”
“Oh yeah!” Kevin high fived Bill. “This is going to be sweet.”
“They’re going to kill us if they find out we bought a car.” Ted warned.
“We’ll say it’s my car, that way there is no complications.” Said Kevin.
“If we get a really awesome car they’re going to suspect something. They know you too well, Kev.” Bill answered.
Kevin rolled his eyes. “I don’t care. I’m getting to Vegas to see Jane Subroski and I don’t care if I have to beg, borrow or steal a car.”
“Alright. I know that there is a stash of albums upstairs, we’ll grab one of those and tell our parents we’re fund raising and want to auction it off.” Bill said.
“Boys we’ll be seeing Jane Subroski in no time.” Kevin grinned.
“Don’t look guilty whatever you do.” Bill hissed and Ted glared back at him. “I’m a perfectly capable liar.” he snapped back.
The two were hovering outside the kitchen, waiting for the right moment to pounce on their parents.
“They’re having a drink. The plan is we walk in and sit down; ask for a beer which they won’t give us and casually bring up the fund raising thing for school.” Bill explained.
Ted didn’t have time to answer as Bill had pushed open the door and sat down next to Bill and Ted senior.
“Hey Bill,” Ted senior greeted him.
“Hey dad, can I have a beer?” he asked hopefully.
“No dude,” he answered as Ted sat down.
“Can I have one?” Ted asked.
“If he’s not getting one you aren’t either” Bill senior told him.
“What do you two have planned for this week?” Ted senior asked.
“We said we’d help out Shannon and Ashley with their fund raising project. They’re having a charity auction. We said we’d take some of your underwear or something to auction off. People pay good money for that type of junk.” Bill explained.
“You are not stealing our underwear even if it is for charity,” Bill senior said.
“Fine, fine I won’t.” Bill waved his hands in defeat. “How about a signed album? That should raise some money.”
“What charity is it for?” Ted senior asked.
“um….it’s for one of those charities for the starving children, I can’t remember the name.” Bill stammered.
“We’d be happy to do that for you.” Ted senior grinned.
“Great! Ashley is gonna flip; we might actually make some money for those kids.” Bill said and his stomach lurched. He was feeling guilty about lying about the charity. Why did his conscience have to show up now?
“Bill, I love you.”
“Back off Kevin he’s mine!” Ashley joked as the group watched the screen as the online auction progressed at an alarming speed.
“Oh yeah, we are getting this car. I talked to my cousin Archie; he has a friend who is trying to sell his jeep. It’s in our price range and is perfect.” Kevin said.
“Check out what this guy in Peru is bidding!” Shannon exclaimed.
“I didn’t know people were so desperate for these things. Next time we need money we’ll just auction off some of you parents things.” Kevin laughed.
“This is so cool!” Ashley squealed. “You know when we become famous we’ll be able to do this too?”
“I have no idea when that’s going to happen, I can’t play any instruments and I don’t want to learn how to.” Shannon said.
“You’re going to be the bassist and bass is like the easiest thing to play.” Kevin said.
“It’s not like you’ve been doing anything to improve your comedic genius,” Shannon snapped.
Kevin sat back and smiled. “Baby I am a comedic genius.”
“Look how high it’s gotten!” Maria screeched.
Everyone gasped when they saw the number on the screen. “Ten thousand dollars!” Bill cried.
“Wow. We’re going to have money left over.” Kevin grinned.
“What are we going to do with it all?” Shannon asked.
“Go shopping!” Ashley squealed.
“You people are so stupid,” Kevin said. “Are we not going to Las Vegas?”
“Kevin we’re not old enough to gamble,” Maria said.
“I don’t know about you guys but I have a fake ID.” Kevin laughed.
“That’s my Kevin,” Shannon grinned and they began a make out session.
“Ugh, guys.” Ashley groaned. “Get a room!”
“I’ve accepted the offer of ten thousand dollars. Now all we need is that car.” Bill said.
“Don’t worry, I talked to my cousin Archie, he said he has lined up a car for us.” Kevin said before Shannon pounced on him again.
“Is he some sort of used car dealer?” Ted asked.
“Well I was right about one thing,” said Ted as the three of them stood outside Archie’s home. “He’s some sort of dealer.”
“That’s stereotyping. Just because Archie lives in this neighbourhood does not make him a dealer.” Kevin snapped.
“Maybe we should buy a car from a proper dealer.” Said Bill.
“If we did they’d be suspicious as to why we could pay in cash. Archie doesn’t care where we got the money as long as we pay him.” Kevin explained as he went to the screen door and called out. “Hey Archie man! It’s me!”
The rusty screen opened and a scruffy looking teen with bloodshot eyes stuck his head out. “Hey Kev, good thing you came today or else I would have sold it to someone else.”
Kevin waved a hand at Ted and Bill. “That’s my amigos, Ted and Bill, you should know them.”
Archie nodded and walked over towards the tattered looking tarp. “Here she is.” He pulled off the tarp.
Bill gasped when he saw it. It was a brand new Jeep! “Real good buy. Got her at a police auction. If you pay cash and take her now I’ll give her to you for seven thousand.”
Bill was going to object but Kevin jumped in and told him it was a deal. Money was exchanged and Kevin climbed into the driver’s seat.
“Oh baby! I’m going to pick up some hot babes in this!” He laughed as Ted and Bill climbed into the jeep.
“Kevin you have a girlfriend.” Ted pointed out.
Kevin shrugged. “Yeah but now I can pick up cheap floozies on the side.” Kevin was looking around the car like a child on Christmas day.
Bill felt uneasy as did Ted. “Kevin doesn’t it bother you that Archie wanted this car paid in cash and he wanted to get rid of it quick?”
“Check out the stereo!” Kevin cried and the jeep was instantly filled with loud rock music.
“Alright boys, we’re off!” Kevin laughed and they left Archie in the dust.
Kevin drove around for hours just testing out the jeep. It was already dark when he dropped the boys’ home.
“I’ve got a real bad feeling about this car.” Ted sighed as they came through the back door into the kitchen.
“Same here but it should get us to Vegas.” Bill said.
“Hello boys” Elizabeth greeted them. “Where have you been?”
“Kevin got a new car and we were cruising.” Bill answered.
“That’s nice,” Joanna said. “Your grandfather’s here,” she said to Bill.
“Alright, I’ll go say hello.” Bill groaned and Ted followed him to the dinning room.
Captain Logan was sitting across the table from Ted senior with Bill nowhere in sight. After all these years he still wasn’t very comfortable with him.
“Hey grandpa,” Bill said and sat down. Ted wasn’t sure what to do so he went up to his room.
“Hey Bill,” Ted senior smiled. “How’d that album sell?”
“We got ten thousand,” He said.
“Excellent! Those kids won’t be starving for long.” he smiled. “So what have you been doing today?”
“Kevin bought a car off his cousin,” Bill answered. “We’ve just been cruising in it.”
“What’s his cousin’s name?” Captain Logan asked.
“Archie,” Bill answered. He was used to this. His grandfather seemed to like doing background checks on all his friends. Apparently Shannon had been arrested for shoplifting when she was twelve and Kevin had all sorts of offences that he couldn’t list off the top of his head. Ashley was clean of course.
“Archie Leary?” He said. “He’s out of prison?”
Bill felt his stomach fall. “Prison?” He asked weakly.
“Yes. I arrested him for arson a few years ago.” He explained.
“Kevin never mentioned that.” Bill grumbled.
“You should be careful around Kevin,” he started and Bill tried not roll his eyes. He’d heard all this before, Kevin was a bad influence and Shannon was a kleptomaniac.
“Kevin’s a good kid. A bit crazy maybe but not a criminal.” Ted said.
“You’ll see, it all starts with small offences and his girlfriend isn’t much better.” He sipped his drink. “You wait, give it a few years and that boy will be in all sorts of trouble and his girl will be too.”
“Dad you said that about Bill and Joanna and it never happened.” Ted winked at Bill who smiled.
“That’s because he had you around, I tell you that he would have ended up somewhere much worse if you hadn’t been there.”
“I’ll make sure Kevin doesn’t do anything illegal.” Bill said but he had a feeling he’d already let him.
“Four days until we go to Vegas.” Kevin cried. It was Sunday night. The whole gang was cruising in Kevin’s jeep.
Shannon was sitting in the front, going through the glove box. She pulled out a miniature statue of Jesus.
“Kevin why do you have this in your car?” she asked, waving it in her face.
“Archie must have left it in here,” Kevin replied.
“Wasn’t Archie in prison for arson?” Bill asked.
“People who burn stuff believe in God too Bill.” Kevin snapped.
“There’s also a set of keys in here,” Shannon held up a keychain. “And the keychain says Mildred on it.”
“Maybe it was his girlfriend.” Kevin said, his voice not so confident.
“I think that this wasn’t Archie’s car.” Ted exclaimed.
“What do you mean?” Kevin asked. His voice had lost all joking too it and was real hard.
“I mean that Archie stole the car!” Ted shouted.
“I don’t talk bad about your cousins!” Kevin snapped.
“You said Alana and Jasmine were hot!” Bill screamed at him.
“You leave Archie alone; he’s like my older brother to me.” Kevin said.
“Your older brother who burns things!” Bill cried and Kevin slammed on the breaks of the car.
“That’s it!” Kevin had lost it. He obviously felt that he had more loyal to Archie than he did to Ted and Bill. “Out of my car now.”
“Gladly, I hope the cops catch you!” Ted yelled as he threw open the door.
“And your girls too!” Kevin flared up. Maria looked on the verge of tears but climbed out. Ashley gave him a mouthful before she got out.
Kevin sped off and Bill groaned. “Ever get the feeling that Archie and Kevin are real close.”
“It’s that older brother syndrome,” Maria said. “Kevin worships Archie; he can’t believe anything bad about him even though all the facts are there.”
Bill looked around. They were one block back from the main street on San Dimas. “How much money do we have, maybe we can scrap together a cab.”
“I haven’t got anything.” Maria said and Ashley nodded.
“I didn’t think we needed money.” She said.
Bill sighed. “I only have spare change.”
Ted pulled out his wallet. “I’ve got five but that’s not enough to get us home.”
“We’ve got two options, walk home or call the parentals.” Bill said.
“I’m not walking,” Ashley said.
“Me neither.” Maria said.
“You want to walk Teddy?” Bill asked.
Ted shrugged. “Our parents probably aren’t home.”
“We’ll walk you to somewhere well lit and leave you there okay?” Bill said.
“Fine with us.” Ashley said.
They walked the girls to a gas station and then set off for home. It took them a good hour before they got home.
“Do you think the cops will catch Kevin?” Bill asked as they flopped onto their beds.
“I dunno. I’m sure we’ll here about it if he does get caught.” Ted kicked off his shoes.
“I never want to walk anywhere again.” Bill groaned.
“We’re going to have to get used to it, Kevin’s the only one who can drive.” Ted said.
Bill laughed. “Night Ted.”
“Nananananananananana BATMAN!” Kevin’s voice echoed through the room. Bill blinked and looked around. Then he remembered that was his cell phone’s ringtone. Kevin had changed it.
He could see it glowing on his desk and stumbled over there and answered it. “Hello?” he said groggily.
“Bill?” It was Kevin. His voice was soft and lacked any sort of anger or funniness. “Man I am so sorry. I should have realized what Archie was doing but he’s always been so cool to me that I thought he would be stupid enough to give me a stolen car.”
“Kevin is there any reason you calling me at 3am to tell me this?” Bill asked and Kevin was silent for a moment.
“Bill. I’ve been arrested.”
Bill groaned. “And Shannon?”
“She’s here too.” His voice was so quiet it was eerie. Bill knew then that he was scared.
“How much trouble are you in?” Bill asked.
“Huge trouble. I need your help. I need a lawyer and bail money. The leftover auction money should get us both out.” Kevin’s voice shook.
“Alright mate. I’ll call a taxi and Tad Sanders; he’s our parents’ lawyer. We’ll get you out.”
“Thanks Bill. I guess I know who my real friends are.” Kevin sounded so small and scared.
“See you soon, Kev.” Bill said.
“Bye Bill.” Kevin answered and the connection died.
Bill dialed the taxi company and asked them to meet him on the corner of their street. Next he called Tad Sanders, he answered on the fourth ring.
“Mr. Sanders this is Bill Logan.” He’d only met Tad twice but he knew his parents paid him well. He explained the situation and Tad agreed to meet him at the police station.
Bill shook Ted awake. “Wake up! I don’t care if you come with me or not but Kevin’s been arrested and I’m going to bail him out.”
Ted shot awake immediately. “I’m coming,” He said.
They were silent on the taxi ride over. The station was empty of course. Tad was standing outside looking at his watch. Despite being woken up he was dressed immaculately in a business suit.
“Mr. Sanders.” Bill held out his hand. “I’m sorry about this.”
Tad looked at the two of them. “Your parents don’t know you’re here do they?”
Bill shook his head. “I’m to worried about Kevin and Shannon.”
They went inside and after much negation and the paying of the bail Kevin and Shannon were released.
“I love you two!” Shannon cried and kissed Bill and Ted. Kevin gave them an uncomfortable hug.
“I’ll talk to this Archie and report back tomorrow afternoon.” Tad said and left them.
The sun was just rising as Shannon, Kevin, Ted and Bill got to the Wyld Stallyns Mansion.
“I want waffles and a good strong beer.” Kevin said. He wasn’t joking and Ted set on making waffles while Bill got them all a beer.
“Aren’t you worried your parents will catch you?” Shannon asked.
Bill shrugged. “I snuck out in the middle of the night I may as well get caught drinking, too.”
Kevin laughed and gulped down the can of beer and started on another. “I am so dead. So much for Jane Subroski.” He sighed. “I’m going to leave when this all blows over. I don’t want to finish school. I’m going to go to New York.”
“Kevin will be leaving and we’ll be finishing school. Then this is it. We’ll go to Jane Subroski. It’ll be our last adventure. Let’s make it count.” Bill grinned.
Ted stood up. “Go home and pack your bags, we’ll leave right now. We’ll party like its 1999.”
“Ted it was 1999 years ago.” Shannon giggled.
“Let’s make a pact,” Ted cried. “Everyone put your hands in the middle of the table.” Ted smiled. “We swear on these half eaten waffles and beer that our Vegas adventure will be the most excellent and bodacious of all adventures!”
“AMEN!” They all cried.
"The National Wyld Stallyns Museum" the sign read. It was seven thirty am on Monday morning. Kevin, Shannon, Bill, Ashley, Maria and Ted all stood outside the large white building carrying knapsacks.
“Here we are. Our ticket to Las Vegas.” Ted grinned.
“Ted’s lost his mind.” Ashley groaned.
“Come on, we’re going to see Jane Subroski right now.” Ted marched forward and everyone rush after him.
“How are we going to see it now? It’s not until Wednesday.” Shannon asked.
“Everybody meet Mitchell.” Ted introduced a skinny looking pimple faced twenty something. “He is going to let us use the booth to travel forward in time to see Jane Subroski without getting in any sort of trouble. We’ll be here and back in the blink of an eye. That way we can study for midterm exams, get in trouble for drinking, driving in a stolen car and sneaking out in the middle of the night all while seeing the concert.”
“Ted you are absolutely brilliant!” Kevin cried.
“Alright. Everybody gear up. We’re going to the concert!” Ted cried and Mitchell let them in.
The museum didn’t open until nine which gave them some time to fiddle with the booth. Mitchell had agreed to it since he was the biggest Wyld Stallyns fan ever. And the fact that Ted had given him two tickets to the next Wyld Stallyns concert.
Getting everyone in the booth was hard but they managed it. “I’ve found a Las Vegas number. Let’s hope it works.” Bill dialed the number.
GENETIC DUPLICATION CENTRE. EST. 2221.
“You were a few years off.” Kevin laughed as they stood in the middle of the laboratory.
“Fine. So I’m not brilliant. We’ll try another number.” Bill snapped.
The laboratory was long with benches along the metallic walls. “What are these?” Ashley held up a small round dish with clear jelly in the bottom.
“I know. We have them in science.” Kevin stepped forward. “You put something in them and it shows how much bacteria is in it.”
Kevin spat in one of the dishes and it bubbled and dissolved. “Put your hair or something in it.” He said.
Ashley ran her fingers through her hair and dropped a hair in it. It fizzed and melted away. “You guys have got to try this!”
For the next few minutes they were amused by making things dissolve in the dishes before Ted reminded them of the concert.
“Let’s see if this number is right.” Bill said and they left the laboratory behind.
It took them a few numbers before they were in the right place. Just in time for the concert.
“Oh yeah. This had been so cool!” Kevin screamed as the crowd surged forward at the stage.
“I’m going to miss you Kevin!” Bill shouted over the crowd.
Kevin laughed as he danced with Shannon (it was more jumping in a circle than actual dancing.) The concert was everything it promised to be and more. The gang returned back to San Dimas looking exhausted but having thoroughly enjoyed themselves, didn’t care.
They went straight to school but slept through most of it.
“I don’t want to go home yet.” Kevin said. “Once we go home then we’ll all be in a lot of trouble.”
“Wanna go to the Circle K?” Bill asked.
“Yeah. This might be our last chance of hanging out there.” Shannon sighed.
Everyone in the group described this afternoon as the last moment of togetherness. They lazed around the Circle K reading magazines and playing Foxy Boxing (a most excellent video game.)
It was almost dark when they bid each other goodbye. It was the last time they saw Kevin for three months.
In those months they did not hear from Kevin. According to his dad he’d left a note saying he’d gone to New York. In the third month of Kevin’s absence something terrible happened in New York.
Ted and Bill had come straight home from school in the hope to watch a marathon of Buffy, The Vampire Slayer. Unfortunately the marathon was interrupted by a news report.
“This is Cindy Shelton reporting from the channel 12 helicopter above New York City. Riots have broken out after the performance of the group known only as DeNomolos’ Truth. Not much is known about this group but they are apparently a group that has time travelled on numerous occasions and seen the future. It is not known what the group have done but the mass destruction they have caused is alarming. We will have more on this story in the coming hours.”
“DeNomolos’ Truth.” Ted whispered. “Any money it’s some goons from the future.”
“Why would the people listen to them though?” Bill wondered.
As the days rolled by city after city began to riot and claimed that Wyld Stallyns music actually brainwashed people and they were rioting against it. It was becoming so bad that Ted and Bill weren’t allowed to go to school. San Dimas was shut off from the rest of the world and no one was allowed in or out. This group DeNomolos’ Truth meant business.
The tension was high at the Wyld Stallyns Mansion. Reporters were staking out the house. People were scared to go out of their homes.
“The world is going into total reverse. At this rate the entire earth is going to be after our parents, and possibly our blood.” Ted sighed.
“I hope Kevin’s okay, New York was the first city to go down. The majority of the Earth thinks that Wyld Stallyns brainwashed them.”
Ted bit his lip. “I don’t want to go on living like this. We’re living like hermits. I haven’t been outside in almost two weeks.”
Sitting in the lounge room, the two boys were trying to distract themselves by playing on the Playstation. It wasn’t working well.
Suddenly a hard tap on the window drew their attention. Looking in at them was Kevin.
“Holy crap!” Bill cried and they opened the window.
Kevin jumped in. He was soaking wet, smelly and filthy. “Guys, you have to see this.” He pulled out a video tape wrapped in plastic.
“Kevin what happened to you?” Ted asked.
“I’ve been crawling through sewage pipes to get here. It’s the only way you can get past the security around San Dimas.” he explained.
“What’s this tape?” Bill asked as he unwrapped it.
“It’s a tape of DeNomolos’ Truth.” Kevin said. “I got it when they did a show in New York.”
“Wow! Now we can see what those dickweeds look like!” Bill grinned and set up the tape.
The picture flicked on and they gasped.
“It’s….it’s us!” Ted said.
Kevin nodded. “Yep. That’s why everyone believes it. You two are DeNomolos’ Truth.”
“But…..we can’t be!” Bill gasped. “We’ve been here. How the hell could we have gotten to all those cities?”
Kevin nodded. “I thought they were evil robots and so did the crowd but someone punched you and you bleed. They believe it now.”
“This can’t be happening,” Bill groaned.
“It is. San Dimas doesn’t know because you aren’t letting anyone in to tell you.” Kevin said.
“But what are they?” Ted asked.
Kevin sighed. “I’ve been thinking a lot about this. Remember when we went to that Laboratory? We didn’t take any notice of that sign. Do you remember what it said?”
“Genetic Duplication Centre,” Ted said slowly.
“You know what genetic duplication is a big word for?” Kevin asked.
There was a slight pause before Kevin answered his own question. “Clones. They’re clones of you. We spat in those dishes, we gave them our genetic material, there should be clones of the whole group in the future but they’re using your clones.”
“How are we going to stop them?” Ted asked.
“What makes you think we can stop them?” Bill asked.
“They’re our clones!” Ted cried. “We should be able to find a way to stop them.”
The phone ringing made the boys jump. “Kevin go have a shower and we’ll think about this.” Bill said and picked up the phone.
“Hello?” he asked.
“Bill Logan and/or Ted Preston are receiving a long distance call from the Genetic Duplication Until of Las Vegas, will you accept the charges?” the voice asked.
“Yes.” Bill cried.
The phone clicked and a voice said “Go to the channel 12 building for answers.” Then the person hung up.
“Who was that?” Ted asked.
“Someone who just gave us the information that could save earth.” Bill said.
“Why are they here?” Ted asked as he looked over at the girls.
“Because I figure we need all the help we can get.” Bill said.
Standing outside the building had proven hazardous since the police were cruising the streets telling anyone to go inside immediately. They were hiding in the garden..
“Kevin you’re on my foot!” Ashley snapped.
“This guy isn’t going to show Bill. We’ve been waiting here for an hour.” Shannon said.
“He mightn’t know we’re here.” Bill said. “I’m going to stand outside the building.”
“We’re going to get busted by someone.” Maria groaned but they all trudged out of the garden.
They were only standing outside the building for a minute when a beautiful blonde girl in a silver suit came running up to them.
“Hello, I’m Celeste. I work for the Genetic Duplication Centre you trashed.” She smiled as they winced. “The clones are unstable, the genetic information you gave them was faulty, spit isn’t something we use often. The clones can be destroyed if we could get a vast amount of water on them. Like spraying them with a fire hose.”
“That’s great but how would we spray them with a fire hose?” Bill asked.
She smiled. “You know how your clones are saying that Wyld Stallyn’s music is brainwashing people. You’re going to use your music to brainwash people into wetting the clones with a fire hose. I’ve got the technology to use channel 12’s broadcasting equipment to make a world wide broadcast. You’re going to play a song with a subliminal message to wet the clones.”
“We need a song though.” Bill said.
“Play a bunch of guitar riffs while we mix in the message. We’ll lop the broadcast for it to play for exactly one day. By then everyone should have seen it.” she smiled.
“Well what are we waiting for?” Kevin said. “let’s brainwash the world!”
“Just say over and over, Wet DeNomolos’ Truth with a fire hose. Do it until they melt.” Celeste instructed.
They decided to use Maria as the voice of the message. She said it clear and Celeste went crazy with knobs and buttons before she said the broadcast was ready.
They all stood back as Ted and Bill came on the screen. “Hi, we’re DeNomolos’s Truth. This is a special broadcast to celebrate the murder of Wyld Stallyns.”
Then the music blasted out and the message was broadcasted to millions.
All they had to do was wait.
CHAPTER 6The clones didn’t immediately disappear. It took a few weeks before the world settled down and the real Ted and Bill explained what they’d done. Everyone was so happy that they’d saved the world that they ignored the fact that they’d bought a stolen car, stolen museum property, messed with the circuits of time and brainwashed the earth. Everyone except their parents.
“Grounded. Can you believe it?” Kevin groaned as Ted and Bill exchanged grins. “And we have to do community service because we lied about the charity thing. How bogus is that?”
“Kevin, we could be in prison for all the stuff we did. I think we should count ourselves lucky.” Bill laughed.
“I guess. And I get to do a few comedy shows to raise money so it could be worse.” Kevin said.
“We get to do a few shows to so it’s looking great for us!” Ted exclaimed.
“Yep. I guess, and our parents are thinking of retiring when we’re able to take over full time. They said they’re going to buy an island in the Caribbean.” Bill said.
“Lucky buggers,” Kevin grumbled.
“You’re still annoyed about having to go back to school huh?” Ted asked.
“Yes! I survived getting through the riots all by myself and yet they’re making me go back. It’s not fair.” Kevin groaned.
“Look on the bright side, at least we’re all together and no one is trying to kill us, clone us or arrest us.” Bill laughed.
“It’s early days yet Bill.” Kevin said. “Who knows what’s in stall for us?”