May I Introduce to You, Captain and Mrs. Logan

Written by:
Julia


BILL & TED characters are trademarks of Nelson 1991 Inc. The motion picture BILL & TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE & © 1989 Nelson Films Inc. All Rights Reserved. The motion picture BILL & TED'S BOGUS JOURNEY © 1991 Orion Pictures Corporation. All Rights Reserved.

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Admiring how she looked in her designer wedding dress, Missy stood in the hotel room waiting for her wedding to happen.

"Missy!" Her sister, Amanda, called as she walked into the room with Elizabeth and Joanna.

"Yes," Missy answered.

"There’s… been a problem." She calmly said as if she were preparing for the worst reaction out of Missy.

"What is the problem?" She asked frantically.

"Well…" She sighed, "The caterer came down with the flu, the band’s car broke down, and we have to find all at last minute." She rushed.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

A few minutes later…

"What’re we gonna do?  How are we gonna cater to all these people?  Everyone will be so bored without music?" Missy asked as she deliriously paced back and forth.

"Missy, calm down, I’ll have everything under control by the reception." Amanda assured her.

"But what if you don’t?  It’ll be-"

"Trust us on this one." Joanna said.

"We’ll have it together.  Don’t you worry about a thing."

Missy sighed and plopped down onto a chair next to her, "Are you sure you can find people at such short notice?"

"Yes, like we said, don’t worry.  This is your big day.  Just relax." Amanda said.

Missy calmed down, "Okay, but hurry, because the wedding’s in an hour."

"We will," She said as she left with Joanna and Elizabeth.  She closed the door and whispered, "We need more help, and fast."

"Dude, this tuxedo is so weird." Bill said yanking on the tie choking him.

"Well, you’re not the only one who has to wear one.  Don’t you think it’s gonna be awkward that you’re step mom is going to be my new step mom?" Ted asked annoyed.

"Yeah," Bill stopped complaining and sat next to him.

"Why am I a groomsmen instead of Deacon?" Bill asked.

"Because Deacon’s sick, and I’d much rather pick you than Col. Oates." Ted explained.

Bill shuttered, "Good point."

Suddenly, someone knocked on the door.

"Come in," Bill said.

Amanda walked in with Elizabeth and Joanna.

"Hey, babes, how’s it going?" Ted asked.

"Awful," Elizabeth answered.

"The caterer got sick, the band can’t make it, and we have to find all this at last minute." Joanna explained.

"And we need your help…" Amanda continued.

"Well, we have a band." Bill commented.

"But we don’t have our instruments with us…" Joanna reminded him.

"Are we even ready to perform?" Elizabeth asked.

"I think so." Ted answered.

"Okay, after the ceremony, they could play a CD or something, while we go get our instruments and set them up." Bill explained.

"Does the reception hall have a CD player?" Joanna asked.

"They might.  We could check, but if they don’t, we can just use mine." Amanda answered.

"Problem solved." Bill said.

"Not exactly," Amanda said, "Somebody has to pick up catering."

"One minute," Bill said before he walked to the other side of the room with Ted.

"What if we go back in time and get the catering?" Bill whispered.

"Would we get back in time for the wedding?" Ted whispered.

"I don’t know.  We could give it a try…" Bill said, "Okay, Babes, we’ll try to get the catering."

"Oh my gosh!  Thank you so much!" Amanda said, "I’m gotta go order it really quick.  It’s gonna be at Jack’s Shrimp Shack.  Do you know where that is?"

"No, where is it?" Bill asked.

"If you are by the mall, and you turn left, and left again, and a right, and a left, and a right, and go behind the convenient store, you’re there." Amanda explained.

"Okay," Bill said.

Amanda went to the phone at the side of the bed, and the four of them waited as she ordered the food.

"Okay, it’s all ordered." She said after hanging up.

"Excellent," Bill and Ted said.

"It’ll be ready to pick up in twenty minutes, but hurry, because the wedding’s in an hour."

"Don’t worry, Amanda.  We can do this." Bill assured her.

Bill, Ted, and the princesses walked out of the hotel room.

"So, the booth’s at your house, right?" Ted asked as they walked into the elevator.

"As always." Bill answered.

The elevator door opened, and the four of them walked out to the lobby to see at least two hundred people, who were guests of the wedding.

"Hey, Bill, what’re you doing here?" A familiar voice asked.

Bill turned his head to see his dad, "Hey, Dad, what’re you doing here?"

"I asked you first." He said.

"I’m a groomsmen.  Now, what’re you doing here?" Bill asked.

"Well, I was invited…" He paused, "I thought I should come just to be polite." He explained in a melancholy way.

Bill nodded.

"If you guys are groomsmen, why are you out here?" He asked before they could walk away.

"Well, we have to pick up the catering…" Bill explained.

"And our instruments for the reception…" Joanna continued.

"Oh, so, your band is playing at the reception?"

"Yeah, cause the band that was originally gonna play wasn’t able to make it here." Ted explained.

Bill’s dad smiled, "I look forward to it.  Is there anything I can help with?"

"What do you mean?" Bill asked.

"Do you need me to help pick anything up?"

"Picking up the catering would be helpful," Elizabeth noted.

"Where is it at?" He asked.

"Jack’s Shrimp Shack.  If you’re by the mall and you turn a couple left turns and then a right, you’re there." Bill explained.

"Okay, when do they need it at the reception?" Bill’s dad asked as if he were taking notes in his brain.

"At latest eleven-thirty," Joanna answered.

"I’ll try to be back by then,"

"Thanks, Dad,"

"No problem," He replied as he left quickly.

Bill, Ted, and the princesses hurried to get back to the hotel room so they could meet up with Missy and Amanda.

"I thought you guys were getting catering…" Amanda said as soon as she saw them.

"My dad said that he would pick it up for us." Bill explained.

"Eugene used to be so sweet.  Then, it was like he stopped listening to me and…" Missy started to tear up.

"Missy, we’re over him now, remember?  Just think about it.  Today, you are marrying with a new man who’s much more of a gentleman than Eugene was."

"Yeah, I guess so." She said.

Captain Logan knocked on the door and opened it, "The wedding’s in ten minutes.  Let’s go."

The seven of them took the elevator to go to the lobby.  They walked down a hall and waited there as Captain Logan walked inside and waited for a few minutes.

Next thing they knew, an usher peeked his head out of the glass door and said, "Okay, we’re ready."

He pushed the door open and the music started to play.

Ted and Elizabeth walked down the aisle and seconds later Bill and Joanna did.

All eyes on them, Missy walked down with her dad who looked quite annoyed that his daughter was getting married again.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of God for the marriage of Melissa Anne Williams Preston and Captain Chester Logan. Melissa, Do you take Chester to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and health, for better and worse, till death do you part?"

"I do," Missy answered dreamily staring into her husband-to-be’s eyes, which made Bill feel disgusted.

"Chester, do you take Melissa to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and health, for better and worse, till death do you part?"

"I do," He answered.

"I now pronounce you man and wife," He paused, "You may kiss your bride, Captain.

They kissed as their guests applauded and Bill and Ted stared at them disgusted.

"Ladies and Gentleman, Captain and Mrs. Logan,"

Missy and Captain Logan ran down the aisle and the wedding party followed behind.

"That was a short wedding…" Bill commented.

"Yeah, they cut a bunch of vows and stuff out to make it shorter." Amanda explained.

"Let’s hurry; we need to get the instruments." Elizabeth said.

The four of them ran to the Wyld Stallyns van and they drove to Bill’s house.

Bill opened the garage door and Ted and Elizabeth of them quickly unplugged the amps, the guitars, and the piano and set them in the back of the van, as Bill and Joanna figured out how to fit the drums in the back without taking them apart.

When they finally arrived, some ushers helped them carry the instruments in and set them up.

Amanda got on the stage and said into the microphone, "Ladies and Gentleman, please welcome the Wyld Stallyns."

There was a quiet applause.

The four of them walked onto the stage and Bill said "It’s just ‘Wyld Stallyns’ not ‘The Wyld Stallyns.’"

They started playing the newest song they wrote.

"You hired them as our wedding band?" Captain Logan asked Missy.

"No, I hired another band that wasn’t able to make it…" Missy paused, "And they volunteered!  I couldn’t say no, they were the only people I could find at last minute…"

Captain Logan rolled his eyes, "And where’s our food anyway?"

"I don’t know.  Eugene was supposed to get it." Missy answered.

Captain Logan rolled his eyes and walked away.

After a couple more songs, Bill, Ted, and the princesses left the stage and played a CD so that they could enjoy the reception.

They saw Bill’s dad walk in a few minutes later carrying boxes and boxes of cold food.

"Dad, where were you?" Bill asked.

"I got lost, but this cool guy with some nice sunglasses found me and told me where to go." He explained.

"Hello, Gentleman," The man Bill’s dad talked about greeted.

"Rufus!" The four of them said in unison.

"I just so happened to see you guys play a few minutes ago.  Excellent job, Dudes."

"Thanks, Rufus," The four of them said at different times.

"Now, I hope I’m not interrupting the party, so, I’ll see you guys later."

"Catch ya later, Rufus," Bill and Ted said.

Rufus left and they went to the table where Missy was sitting with Amanda.

"Where’s my dad?" Ted asked.

"I think he went to the bathroom…" Missy answered, "But I don’t know,"

They soon ate a meal that included frozen shrimp, frozen carrots, salmon and caviar.

Ted and Elizabeth got up and danced as Joanna and Bill sat awkwardly trying not to look at each other.

"Are you bored, Joanna?" Bill asked.

"No," she said quietly and finally decided to say, "Okay, yes, and I want to dance with you."

Bill stood up, and held his hand towards her, "Then why didn’t you say so?"

Missy and Captain Logan finished dancing and noticed Colonel Oates.

"Hello, Colonel Oates," Captain Logan greeted.

"Chet!  Hi, how are you?" He asked.

"I’m great, how about you?" Captain Logan asked.

"I’m fine.  So, I thought you had another son, a much younger one…" Colonel Oates commented.

Captain Logan sighed, "Yeah, he wasn’t feeling to well today."

"But I see your other son is here today," He noted, "Your father says that you may be coming to join the military academy soon."

Ted laughed nervously.

He smiled and noted before he left, "It’s never too late for you, Ted,"

Missy and Captain Logan walked to the huge wedding cake and started to cut it.

Missy took one small bite out of the cake and shoved it in Captain Logan’s face.

The trend caught on and by the time the cake was gone, everyone was covered in it.

Ì THE END  Ì