Nov. 24, 1986
REVISED

Dec. 10, 1986

The following are excerpts and annotations outlining the differences between
the Sixth Draft scripts and all previous copies and the final film.

After the leader of the Most Important People say "It is time," the scene now plays out this way:

Rufus thumbs through the phone booth to look up the number.  As Rufus lifts the receiver, we SEE a small, two-pronged ANTENNA rise out of the booth and begin to GLOW with a bluish light.  Then, with each number Rufus dials, we SEE the BLUE LIGHT from the antenna move down the side of the booth, accompanied by a corresponding CHORD OF HEAVY METAL MUSIC.  Finally we HEAR a DRUM BEAT, and as THE BLUE LIGHT connects with the ground, the floor beneath the booth suddenly opens up with a WHOOSH and, in a brilliant FLASH of BRIGHT WHITE LIGHT and RAUCOUS ROCK AND ROLL . . . the booth disappears.

Instead of Bill giving Ted a Melvin as in previous scripts, he gives him a "flat tire" by stepping on the back of his shoe.

When Bill and Ted meet themselves, Bill's line is slightly different from the movie:

BILL
Ted, you and I have witnessed many things, but
nothing as superlative as what just happened.

Bill’s line about calling someone to get the answers now in.

The scene where they stop and see Napoleon is slightly different:

A BULLET whizzes just over Bill’s head, grazing his scalp and parting his hair right down the middle.

BILL
Whoa!!

Ted gapes at Bill, then points at his own head.

TED
(calling down)
My turn, dudes!

Ted sticks his head out and a bullet grazes him, parting his hair in exactly the same place.  The guys look at each other, thrilled.

The cat running away from the phone booth is now included.  When Napoleon lands on the branch the cat is next to him and starts batting at him with its paw.

Rufus' explanation of time travel is now this:

RUFUS
Quite simple, William.  Through a retroactive cross-referencing
of the time-space continuum, we’ve been able to create,
in effect, a chronological circuit board which, when co-indexed by . . .

Rufus stops, noticing that Bill and Ted are totally lost.

RUFUS
Trust me, gentlemen.  It works.

Bill now recognizes Napoleon when he falls out of the tree in this script.

The part with the old west ugly dude is no longer included.  Ted now offers the old west guys free tickets to Raging Waters, home of excellent water slides.

They have the Look, it’s the Goodyear Blimp bit in now, plus the hats down and Melvins.

As they rush toward the phone booth:

BILLY THE KID
I didn’t know you could that with those hats.

TED
You haven’t seen as many movies as us, Billy the Kid.

We see the second hand of Ted's watch slow down and then actually stop.

Socrates line about "Like sands through the hourglass . . . " is now included.

Arrival in England the same, except Billy the Kid says "Triumphant" and Bill gives him his line about Billy dealing with time travel so well.

John the Serf no longer considered.

Seeing the Princesses the same, except Bill says they need to get King Richard, when Ted asks why Bill says it’s a history report, not a babe report.

Still two henchmen plunging their swords into Ted’s suit.

Bill does not say "I love you" to dead Ted.

Ted now hits the henchman with a meaty bone, but bonehead line is not in yet.

They now meet the Princesses in the garden as in the movie and they go to the girls’ chamber.

The escape from the castle is slightly different:

BILLY THE KID
Come on!

Billy jumps onto the carriage that holds the phone booth. Socrates jumps in next to him as Bill and Ted jump in the back with the booth.  Billy takes the reigns.

BILLY THE KID
Yeeehaw!

The carriage starts to gallop through the confused crowd.

TED
What about the babes?!

BILL
They’re totally surrounded!  We’ll have
to come back for ‘em after the report.

A couple of Guards on a balcony fire arrows at the cart.  One of the arrows plants itself in the wood next to Bill’s head.

BILL / TED
Whoaaaaa . . .

Billy drives the carriage around a corner.  Up ahead, Billy sees a farmer pulling a cart of melons.  Billy smiles and unholsters his gun.

BILLY THE KID
Hang on, dudes!

Socrates covers his eyes.  Bill and Ted crouch down behind Billy and Socrates.  Billy fires a couple of shots in the air as he calls to the horses to go faster.  The farmer pushing the cart sees the horses barreling toward him.  He dives out of the way as the carriage runs through the melon cart, sending the melons flying.

INT. STABLES

A huge, towering seven foot MOUNTAIN OF FLESH grabs a mace and gets into a chariot.  Behind him, royal guards mount horses.  The Mountain of Flesh, followed by the guards on horses, bursts through the doors and charges PAST CAMERA.

CUT TO:

EXT. CASTLE STREET

Billy drives the carriage through a flea market, knocking over tents and stands. The marketers run around in general panic.

CUT TO:

EXT. EARLIER CASTLE STREET

CLOSE UP of horses hooves pounding into the ground.  The farmer is putting the final melon back into his cart as he sees the Mountain of Flesh’s horse thundering toward him.  Again he dives out of the way.  The horse knocks over the melon cart.

CUT TO:

EXT. CASTLE ROAD

Billy bombs through the last flea market stand as he is heading to the outer castle gate.

CUT TO:

EXT. CASTLE TOWER

A royal trumpeter sounds the alarm.

CUT TO:

EXT. CASTLE BALCONY

The Princesses open their doors and move to the railing.  They watch as Bill and Ted near the gate.

CUT TO:

EXT. CASTLE STREET - NEAR THE GATE

Two guards are closing the gate as another one is hoisting oil to the top of the gate with a rope.  Other guards rush in from the sides.  Bill, Ted, Socrates and Billy the Kid, rushing toward the gate, see what’s up ahead of them.

BILL / TED / SOCRATES / BILLY THE KID
Bogus!

Billy raises his gun and fires at the rope, causing the oil to come crashing to the ground.  The oil explodes into the ground, knocking the guards who were closing the gate into the moat.  Billy guides the carriage through the partially open gates.

CUT TO:

EXT. ROAD LEADING TO CASTLE

Bill and Ted look back to the castle gates, where people try to reorganize themselves.  Ted notices the princesses on the balcony again.

TED
Bill!  Look, the babes!

They start to wave.

CUT TO:

EXT. CASTLE BALCONY

The Princesses, sadly, return their wave.  Joanna blows Ted a kiss.

EXT. EARLIER STREET

The Melon Vendor again puts the final melon in his cart.  Again he heard thundering hooves.  This time he just rolls his eyes and tips over his own cart as the Henchmen and horses roar by.

EXT. CASTLE FLEA MARKET

The Mountain of Flesh rides through the destroyed flea market, getting tangled up in the felled booths.  After a beat, the Henchmen’s horses ride into the market as well.

The rest of the escape scene plays out the same as in the movie, except for Ted saying "C’mon, dude!  That guy’s gonna – !!" and Bill saying "I know, Ted!"

After Bill and Ted leave England, there is another short scene opening to their scene in the future:

A 3-D MAP OF TIME on which a BLINKING BLUE LIGHT suddenly shoots off the map.  We HEAR a WARNING SIGNAL (like guitar feedback), then PULL BACK TO REVEAL we are INSIDE THE GREAT DOME (2687).  The Three Important People react to the disappearance of the blue tracking light.

LEADER
Where did they go?

All of a sudden we HEAR MUSIC and a HUGE CRASH.  And the booth lands in front of the Three Most Important People.

The scene plays the same until the end:

For the first time the Three Important People notice the antenna.  They motion for the guys to stop, but, before they can, there is a FLASH of LIGHT and in a WHOOSH, the booth disappears.  Then, as the light subsides . . .

FROM OUT OF THE SHADOWS

RUFUS
Gentlemen.  Everything’s under control.

CUT TO:

THE CIRCUITS OF TIME

The booth hurtles PAST CAMERA, the four faces pressed up against the glass.

TED (V.O.)
Where we going?!

BILL (V.O.)
I dunno! I think the booth’s broke!
We just gotta keep dialing till it works!

TED (V.O.)
Dude!  What’s that!?

The booth whizzes around a sharp curve in the circuitry, where a SECOND BOOTH pulls alongside it (going in the same direction but on a different track).  Bill and Ted stare out the glass booth.  In it is ANOTHER BILL AND TED.  The Other Ted is holding a set of keys.  The Other Bill gives Bill and Ted the "thumbs up" sign as the booths dive away from each other.

They don’t pick up Julius Caesar.

They pick up Freud much the same as in the movie.

Beethoven is picked up second, still in orchestra pit.

They pick up Joan of Arc at the altar.

A couple of the historical figures falling from the Circuit of Time into Bill's back yard have been changed:

– Beethoven lands at the top of the pool slide and slides into the water.

– Joan of Arc lands on the diving board, does a perfect double-flip, and then lands on Beethoven’s shoulders in the pool.

The final report is back in the classroom again.

Scene of Bill and Ted starting their report with the figures outside lined up the same as in last script, except this time they come in and are announced:

TED
William S. Smith, Esquire.  We are ready.

Ted begins to cross to the podium as Bill proudly steps forward.  Several people snicker.  Ryan rolls his eyes.

BILL
Mr. Ryan, teachers, fellow distinguished classmates . . . it is
indeed a pleasure to introduce to you, to discuss with us what
they think of San Dimas, the San Dimas Mall, Raging Waters,
and many other elements of modern life . . .

(calling out)
. . . Mr. Genghis Khan.

Heads turn as Genghis Khan enters the classroom, nods to the class, and then crosses to Ted.  They "high-five" each other as would two ball players.

TED
Miss Joan of Arc!

Joan of Arc enters, smiling shyly, and crosses to Bill, Ted and Genghis Khan.  People in the classroom begin to quiet down as the four of them converge in the center of the class.

BILL
Dr. Sigmund Freud!

Freud enters and crosses to the rest.  He reluctantly "high-fives" Genghis Khan.  People are now totally silent.

TED
Mr. Abraham Lincoln!

Lincoln enters the room and crosses to the front.  In the rest of the classroom, jaws drop open.

BILL
Mr. Ludwig Van Beethoven!

Beethoven waves, enters.  Several classmates, stunned, wave back.

TED
Mr. Napoleon Bonaparte!

Napoleon winks at the now completely awestruck audience.  Several of the students look down at their makeshift costumes as Napoleon enters the line of Historical figures.

BILL
And last, our buddy from the Old West . . . Mr. Billy the Kid.

Billy enters the room, a Pudding Cup in hand.

BILLY THE KID
(to class)
How’s it goin’?

He cracks open the Pudding Cup and crosses toward Bill and Ted.

BILL
May we now present to you . . . some of the
greatest people who have ever lived
.

And on the awestruck classroom’s complete and total stunned silence we:

DISSOLVE TO:

THE REPORT

Behind MUSIC, the following should flow together and overlap fluidly:

Beethoven stands at the chalkboard, writing notes from his 6th Symphony, dividing it into parts for MOOG SYNTHESIZER, DRUM, ELECTRIC GUITAR, etc.  Ted steps up to the board beside Beethoven and fills in one of the half-notes with a "happy face."

The Class sits forward, watching carefully as Napoleon tanned and wearing Ray-Bans and nose-kote, finishes an animated account of his exploits at Raging Waters.  Behind him, on the chalkboard under a heading marked "EXCELLENT", is a crude drawing of Napoleon riding a water slide, headfirst and backward.

NAPOLEON
(pidgin-English)
And I saw when I get home I construct
the water slide all over Europe!

He notices Joan of Arc standing behind him, frowning, eating a Twinkie.  He addresses a comment to her in French.  She shakes her head, steps out of line and begins doing aerobics.

AT THE SIDE OF THE ROOM Abraham Lincoln paces back and forth, considering what to say.  He stops in front of Randolf, looks at his "Abe Lincoln" costume for a second, then continues pacing.

SIGMUND FREUD steps away from the chalkboard, looking at his drawing of a Hot Dog on a Stick going into a large mouth.  He strokes his beard and pantomimes eating a hot dog.

OUTSIDE people begin to pack into the classroom, open the door, as:

GENGHIS KHAN faces the class, holding his old, gnarled club in his hands.  Then he picks up an aluminum bat.  He holds them both up, then drops the wooden club and begins to twirl the aluminum bat around as would Bruce Lee.  Khan swings the bat just over the top of Ox’s head and BUFFY AND JODIE look at each other.

BUFFY
(sotto)
Weird guys.

Jodie nods.

SOCRATES is drawing a telephone on the chalkboard in the "EXCELLENT" column just under Khan’s drawing of an aluminum bat.  (The "BOGUS" column now includes such items as a police car and Khan’s old gnarled club.)  He looks at the phone, then turns and joins Napoleon, Freud and Billy the Kid, who are engaged in an open discussion.  Socrates is handed a communal bag of Doritos, he takes one and passes it to BILLY THE KID who is in the middle of a thought:

BILLY THE KID
. . . I’m just sayin’ that for something that’s supposed
to be a snack treat, you’d think they’d make these edges
a little less sharp. I mean –
(shows several cuts)
– these hurt.

The other Figures murmer assent. Finally, as THE CLOCK hits 4:00 P.M. and MR. RYAN scrawls a huge "A+" next to Bill and Ted’s names:

CAPTAIN WILLIAMS pushes into the now-jam-packed room, squeezing past the crowd, then stopping in his tracks when he sees Bill and Ted in total control of the rapt audience.

The Historical Figures are now seated in a semi-circle in front of the class, and are flipping the Nerf football back and forth as they speak.  Behind them THE CHALKBOARD is now filled with notes, drawings, phrases, arrows, crudely drawn maps, lines, graphs, sketches . . . The "EXCELLENT / BOGUS" columns are filled with drawings as well.

IN FRONT OF THE CLASSROOM as Socrates finishes talking about "Dust in the Wind" (blowing some Doritos crumbs out of his hand), Ted nods and rises.

TED
And now, our last speaker - - one of the greatest
presidents in American history . . . Mr. Abraham Lincoln.

LINCOLN, caught unprepared, quickly finishes scribbling notes on whatever he could find (in this case a Fruit Pie wrapper) and steps out of line and moves toward the podium where, with a supportive nod from Bill and Ted, he turns toward the audience.

LINCOLN
(reading from his Fruit Pie wrapper)
Four score and seven minutes ago, I began
an adventure with my new friends Bill and Ted.

Lincoln looks to Bill and Ted, who grin proudly.

LINCOLN
There two great gentlemen have reconfirmed to
me that the axiom which was true in my era is still true today . . .

Lincoln then looks down at his scribbled nots, then back up at the classroom.

LINCOLN
(beat)
Be excellent to each other, and . . . Party on, dudes.

The rest of the script is the same as in previous scripts.

Continue on to the On the Set Section . . .