The show opens with a message on tape a la Mission:
Impossible but with an X-Files twist. The recording explains
how the kidnapping of Bill and Ted and the phone booth is considered an X-File,
and that Bill and Ted and the booth must be found. The recording
self-destructs as the Mission: Impossible theme plays (a lit fuse even
burns onstage to mimic the theme song). After a quick snippet of the Back
to the Future theme, the X-Files theme plays and Mulder and Scully
appear on the old west set, which they refer to as Conjunction Junction.
They explain how they are searching for Bill and Ted and the booth.
Bill and Ted arrive by phone booth . . . they have
been kidnapped by Cigarette Smoke Man (who is referred to as Cancer Man) and his
henchman. Bill and Ted explain how these bogus dudes kidnapped them as
they were opening for a KISS concert.
Ethan Hunt from Mission: Impossible, the Terminator
(on his motorcycle), the Crow and Snake Plissen from Escape to New York
all arrive. A big gunfight ensues and Smoking Man manages to escape.
Bill dials Star 69 to bring Smoking Man back in the
booth, but Smoking Man returns with Boba Fett from Star Wars, Catwoman
from Batman and the evil Terminator cop from Terminator 2.
Bill and Ted are excited to see Catwoman, calling her Pussy Galore, until she
starts swinging her whip around. Bill and Ted run and Catwoman fights the
Crow, beating him and getting him into the phone booth in which they both
The good Terminator fights the evil Terminator cop
(whom Bill and Ted refer to as Robocop, telling him to chill). The good
Terminator punches the bad one into the well then lights a bomb and jumps in
after him. Bill and Ted approach as the well explodes and water flies
Will Smith as he appeared in Independence Day
appears and walks across the stage, performing a rap about his latest
film. Then Boba Fett from Star Wars appears and chases Bill and
Ted. Suddenly James Bond (Sean Connery) drives onto the set and another
gun battle ensues. James Bond addresses Bill and Ted and suggests
"Let’s get ready to rock!" Bill and Ted agree and announce it’s
time to Jam, then ask Mulder and Scully if they are not totally psyched.
"We’re wicked psyched," Mulder replies, to which Bill and Ted ask
why the federal agents are always so stiff. To prove they can party on
with the best of them, Mulder borrows a guitar and he and Scully introduce
themselves a la Bill and Ted. The Stray Cats song "Rock This
Town" plays and everyone dances.
USA gymnast Kerri Strug appears to the Olympic theme
song and performs acrobatics across the stage and back, landing at the end and
breaking her leg. The Terminator carries her offstage. Ethan Hunt
(Tom Cruise) comes out and performs the "Old Time Rock & Roll"
underwear dance from Risky Business. And finally Cigarette Smoking
Man asks if they’d like a little kiss and KISS appears to perform "Rock
& Roll All Night."
Many thanks to Michael
for helping with the synopsis of this show!